To start off I would like to say that I loved the combinations of genres in this piece. They blend together in a way I haven't seen before and it sparks my imagination to wonder and want more. The mystery in this really grabs you for it dose make your mind work on wanting to know what happens. I love how you start to change and form as a deeper character in just the first few chapters.

Plot: 4 of 5

You are weaving a world inside a word and in so you have to form new parts and still keep all the original. You bring to the table a new group of characters that haven't been seen before and you breath life unto them through your words. You have the whole main concept well in hand and you do a wonderful job at keeping everything in line and me hooked ;)

Characters: 5 of 5

They are all well thought through, each having their own flaws and problem and each blending in the plot at perfect timing. Each one sets the others off in a good light and I find myself wishing that they could be real people so that I could meet them :D
Setting: 4 1/2 of 5

Good setting, could use a little more detail, but sets off the character well enough. I like how its set and placed around the characters and it seems to highlight all their emotions as if they were truly real people. Not much I can say bad here. You can only improve more.

Mood: 5 of 5

You have everything you need in order to have a best selling book one day for your voice comes strongly from you writing. I can tell that you use real feelings in writing their experiences. The foreshadowing makes this book a delight in the prospect of reliving pieces with the characters. I can get the feelings easily from you characters and be swept away. You have a vivid and solid background.

All in all: 5 of 5

All you have so far is brilliant and I wouldn't change a thing and as for errors in writing or such it has done nothing bad to this wonderful piece.

Thanks a lot.If you've read part 2 , please re-read it. I've had it proofread by felixthecat...great friend of mine.

I am a happily ever after kind of person so I am going to Wish for a part two. another keeper.

Thanks Melrose, be my guest...that's why I write.
Laz

WELL ANTHER GOOD BOOK ..HOW DO YOU DO IT ...I THINK I AM GOING TO HAVE TO READ ALL YOUR BOOKS IF THEY ARE AS GOOD AS THE ONES I JUST READ....I HOPR THEY R ....

MELROSE

Thanks, I am in the middle of the second part, and I will most likely include some of what went on between those two, the first time Justin was there.
Laz
Ps...you won't be dissapointed.

The visual alone is outstanding. I love your writing, the style is easy to read and very descriptive. I love how you added in 'winning a writing contest', I laughed. There were many facets of this book that were touching and inventive... my brain was working like crazy to see the colors flow as you described and I loved it!

I would have like to know more about his thirty days there, working through his sadness and issues with losing his fiancé. That would help the reader come to know him better and would also allow more time to get to know Mara.

I do want more!

Paula, you did make a comment. I rewrote a bit of the story and added a new cover. The other one looked too childish. Thanks AGAIN for your lovely words; it's what fuels me to keep writing.
Laz

I did not leave a comment the first time around - and I don't usually reread stories but with yours there are always surprises - your writing is sensual when you deal with love; a much welcomed change from the explicit...as always, beautiful...Paula

Now that's what I wanted my leprechaun to look like, but with blue eyes!!!