Chapter One

 

 

"It is a continuous memory. Every piece of it, the flashbacks, the smiles, and the glances from those sky blue eyes. I know, forever is real."

  

I am writing a prayer to God about my future husband in my dad’s car. We are going to Karate School today and it’s my first day.

 

Dear Lord,

Please give me a handsome husband, who is so cute like David Archuleta and so amazing like Alex Evans.

He is a musician and a singer, he also should be very sweet, funny, and not boring to be with. He should love me from the bottom of his heart. He should also be tough, strong, masculine, nice, and sporty.

Religious person and believes in you so well. His hair is black, or could be a different color, and his eyes will be sky blue… definitely sky blue.

From,

Valerie

 

I am not expecting anything to happen that immediately that I’d see him, ‘my future husband’ on the first day of karate class or even the next days and months.

Well, things already are going on in the first day, I run the fastest I can with my power, and I end up being the slowest runner.

The worst part is my face ultimately lands on the floor. What a good fresh start for me with my lame action moves!

This upsets me the most, since it is tiring, but since our karate teacher is nice, she gives me a time to take some rest and drink water with my new friend, Anne. She is also new like me.

I meet her two sisters as well. I know it’s going to be a long hard working journey for me to become a Blackbelt Karate Superstar!

After the first day, my parents and I go to a cafe. I am cheery and all that because I am drinking a vanilla shake with a cherry on top. Yum!

My dad orders his favorite cappuccino while my mom orders a chocolate filled croissant.

I admitted that I still can’t get over being humiliated on my first day with my terrible, slow runs and my poor face slammed on the floor, but in total it was worth it.

So the second day came,

I am looking everywhere around me, karate people practicing their moves, karate people talking to their friends, karate people in every single corner.

I am waiting for my closest karate friend Anne also her sisters, Amy and Jane.

Amy is the oldest among her sisters. Jane is ten years old, and she is cute.

You see, I am an only child. I always wanted to have a baby brother, but not a sister.

I am so vain that if I have a sister who is cuter than me, I’ll envy her. Maybe that’s the reason why I don’t have any siblings. I think that’s the punishment for vain people like me.

Where is Anne and her sisters? Why are they taking so long? I have been waiting an hour. Just kidding, I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes, I think so.

The most unexpected thing happened…

My eyes suddenly look at a cute guy from a distance. He is sitting alone in the corner staring at me. It’s strange since I didn’t see him in the first day or maybe he is there, but I didn’t notice.

Or maybe he was watching me, enjoying how my face landed on the floor… Oh boy that is embarrassing.

Then again, my mind keeps asking…

Why is he staring at me? Why a cute guy like him is staring at me?

Just look at his hair. It’s golden brown and it has gold highlights. I really like his hair.

What’s the color of his eyes? I can’t see them from this distance, but I wish it’s blue… sky blue.

But why am I stupid? He only stared at me for a minute and I am falling for him! Falling for him? I think this is a joke. No, it isn’t!

Why in the world I am easy to fall into this cute guy’s love spell?

He isn’t looking at me anymore. When will he look at me again?

He stared at me. And it is just like that?

I hate you cute anonymous guy for making me fall for a stare. No, I like you. I really, really like you.

Oh my God! I think I already have a karate crush and it is that cute anonymous guy.

I don’t know his name. Should I ask him his name? No, that’s horrible! I mean come on he is a guy and I am a girl. I will never do that in my entire life!

Perhaps, I should eavesdrop so that I could hear his name from other people. That’s what I do in my past crushes.

I am so shy to them that even in borrowing a pencil, I can’t ask them.

I hate my shyness! All of my past crushes are far away from me; as in far away from me; the distance is a million miles away from me!

Except the time when my crush in six grade talked to me because we became seatmates.

He said, “Can you teach me?”

I don’t know what came into me. My shyness suddenly disappeared. It was blown by the wind and kept in a huge hole.

At every subject, he always wanted me to teach him. Note: He was my only crush that I became friends with.

He wasn’t studying in all of the subjects.

If I got ten in a quiz he got zero. If I got eight in a quiz he got two. If I got six in a quiz he got four. Did you notice that all of my mistakes in the quiz were his score?

He wasn’t dumb just an idiot!

He got the smartest brain. A lot of my classmates kept laughing at me whenever I said that. I knew he was smart because it took only less than an hour for him to memorize 10 pages for a Social Studies test. Can’t you believe it?

He was already given the best brain in the universe and he didn’t even dare to use it!

But the greatest thing of all, since the day I started teaching him, his grades pulled up.

He got nine in a quiz, and I was really happy.

In the last semester, he told me “I love you” every day. I was smiling like an alien!

At first, I was happy, but the last time he confessed to me, “I love you.”

I became angry… mad as hell!

It was the second to last day of school. I think he liked this popular girl. He was just using me to make her jealous. URGH! I hate her!

After that day, he came to school frowning and looked devastated.

We never spoke to one another.

We treated each other like we were strangers.

Until now I kept asking myself with wonder, “Why was he sad that day?”

It’s crazy, I have forgotten about him because he transferred to another school.

The truth is, when my mom told me I loved him. I completely freaked out! “It’s just a crush!” I kept saying that line to her, but she laughed.

Now, I am in high school, I finally realized that it wasn’t love at all… it’s different.

I was just so infatuated because I couldn’t forget about his “I love you everyday thingy” in elementary. I never knew that and I still can’t believe those sweet and innocent days happened.

I always stared at him like a lunatic. I thought that he is making a move to me, but I was wrong. The truth was he was smiling at me because I was staring at him for an hour.

That’s a secret only YOU—and—I must know.

Every time I remember that scene I laughed. “Why did I do that? I can’t believe I did that ‘stare’ to him!”

I was so stupid back then. And now, I am still stupid.

This ‘cute anonymous guy’ I hate him for staring at me! No, I like him staring at me. And now, I am the one who is staring at him!

This is crazy! I am so easy to fall for a guy who I just caught staring at me.

Karate class is finally over. Anne and I go out of the Karate Room. “See you!”

“Yeah see you!” I reply to her and wave my hand as a sign of goodbye with a pretty smile.

I walk a few steps while looking at the shiny white floor. After some moments, I look at the elevator.

My heart skips a beat for one split second.

To my surprise, it is ‘the cute anonymous guy’

Is he going to the elevator?

Amazingly, I feel that I want to go down the stairs because of the insane shyness in me.

The elevator opens and even though I want to run away. I still go inside.

My heart feels so shy right now that I can’t even look at him. The questions in my mind start bursting in the air.

Why are we together in this elevator?

Why you cute anonymous guy who stared at me once is with me in this elevator?

Is it fate that brought us together in that elevator?

The elevator which is my lucky savior and worst enemy opens.

It is my lucky savior because I feel like I am dying inside in such intense shyness.

It is my worst enemy because I don’t want to go out of that elevator with this perfect moment that probably won’t happen again.

 

I talk about him to my mom and dad. It’s like this:

My mom is sitting in the front seat, while my dad is the one driving our car. I am sitting in the back seat so excited to tell her the great news for the day.

“Mom,” I call her.

She replies back an innocent tone. “Yes?”

I remember, ever since I was in six grade, I always talk to her about my past crushes, because I was so happy talking about them! I always talk to her about what happened at school. Sometimes she gets mad at me because I can’t stop talking. Let me tell you a secret that no one in school knows, I am actually a loud girl. In school, yeah it’s exactly the opposite. I can be silent for a whole day. When my classmates ask me a question I just said yes or no by nodding my head or shaking it. Sometimes they tell stories about their lives to me. I just listen to them without saying a word.

 

My mom and I are like BFF forever!

She’s like a teenager. She can give you any advice you want.

I really love her as my BFF and as a mom… and what about my dad?

Guess what I hate him! He can’t give you any advice. He is the most silent dad in the galaxy!

Like before, I told him about my crush and he didn’t say anything. There is not even a slightest reaction. He is like a robot with no emotion. But my mom, if I told her about my crush she is so interested in listening at you. That is the big difference between my mom and my dad. She is not a robot like my dad.

“I want to tell you something later.” I shyly said to my mom who wants to know about it.

“You can tell me now if you want to.”

My dad interrupts the most thrilling conversation in the world, “Why don’t you tell it now so I can hear it.”

I answer back my robot dad, “...but I want mom only to hear it!” with an emphasis on the word ‘mom’.

The greatest mom in the whole wide world is on my side. “Sweetheart, let your daughter say it only to me. I think it is only for us girls! You won’t understand it.”

My dad who really loves her replies, “Okay.”

I, who can’t control my blabber mouth from talking, give up. Even though dad’s presence is here in the car, I still talk about the cute anonymous guy.

“Mom… Dad...you know there is this cute guy at karate. He is like Justin Bieber! The color of his hair is the same as Justin Bieber’s.” Blah! Blah! Blah! The rest is history.

 

Next Karate class,

I am in this car again while listening to music on my iPod. Then, his face always comes up in my mind which makes me feel the ‘blushing’ feeling.

However my mom’s voice causes me to force myself to stop smiling, “Valerie, don’t smile too much, maybe Justin Bieber will kiss you.”

She laughs including my dad.

I blush non-stop the whole ride.

I keep thinking about the joke in my mind, I know she isn’t serious but I can’t stop thinking about my crush going to kiss me. It frightens me a little, freaks me out, but at the same time it makes me happy and inspired. Yup, it’s a confusing feeling.

I am walking in the karate building.

All of a sudden, I look back at the glass door behind me.

My eyes pop. I feel my heart pounded like a hammer the moment I saw him.

It’s the cute anonymous guy aka ‘Justin Bieber’

I looked away but my heart can’t stop skipping a beat.

I walk as fast as I can so that I can go inside the elevator. But no matter how fast I walk I can never erase the fact that he and I will be together again in the elevator. Truly, fate is the best existing thing in this universe.

My mom and dad looked at me and my crush at the same time while they are sitting on a couch.

Aka Justin Bieber, his tall, blonde haired brother and I walk in together in the elevator.

I slightly look at my crush with the side of my eyes for one split second.

Why did I look at him?

Why did my eyes accidentally look at him?

Okay, you got me! I really look at him.

His eyes are covered with his adorable side bangs. I can’t control myself so I take a quick glance at him again.

Why? He is so cute so it is okay to look at him because he isn’t looking at me!

I hope his brother won’t notice that I kept looking at the cute dude.

Oh no! Is Justin Bieber looking at me behind that bangs?

His brother asks him, “Is mom going home early tonight?”

He answers his brother. “Yeah,” He laughs.

I don’t know why, but his laugh is different. His laugh is not like other people’s laugh that makes your ears bleed. His laughter makes my heart smile. It makes me smile even more. The elevator door slides open. The three of us walk out of it.

I enter the Karate room.

My friend Anne waves her hand and greets me, “Hi!”

I wave my hand and smile back, “Hi!”

Although, I am still busy thinking about how cute my crush is and his side bangs.

After a few minutes of having fun conversations with my new friends, our Karate Teacher calls our attention. We are ready for our warm-ups.

Because of the most amazing fate, he is now right in front of me. My eyes can’t stop looking at his beautiful, soft-looking hair. Sigh! My heart says.

I hope our master won’t notice my concentration isn’t on our warm-ups but on his hair.

I really want to touch your hair so that I can feel its softness.

 

What if my hands accidentally touch his hair? The picture will be like this.

I trip and my hands accidentally pulled his beautiful hair, he’d say “Ouch!” and I’d say with two big hearts on my eyes, “Justin Bieber, your hair is so soft! Can I give it a kiss?

Oh my God that was the corniest imagination ever!

Karate class is over.

Anne, her sisters, and I talk about how tiring karate class was.

I take a glance at him as he walks out of the Karate room. I secretly smile which makes my day.

 

After three days in a week of my first Karate lessons, I learn many moves of kicking and punching. It was fun especially because ‘you know who’ is there.

Too bad for two straight days, the weekends I am not able to see him! Sigh!

I did a lot of things on the weekends since it’s our summer vacation, I go online at Facebook most times, usually morning, afternoon, and evening. My mom often gets mad when I stay online for so long, “Valerie!”

Oh, no, no. I can’t leave Facebook right now. I have to go over the latest cute photos of clothes posted in there.

But I have no choice I have to let my hands off the computer. She has a reason since I stayed more than four hours on Facebook.

Well, we went to restaurants and enjoy our family time. I bought a new pair of high heels and my dad bought a new polo. My mom though prefers not to buy anything.

Soon I’ve figured that the weekend is over and my Karate classes start again.

While I am sitting here in this chair waiting for Karate class to start, I take out my pocket diary. I check everywhere around me to see if there is a sneaky person taking a peek at my diary. All right, there’s none.

 

Dear Diary-Thursday,

Can you keep a secret for me? Last week I eavesdropped on Justin Bieber’s conversation with his friend so that I will know his real name. His friend started with this, “You know there is a new game.”

My crush answered him, “Really?

“While I was waiting for his friend to say something to him, all I was thinking was, ‘say his name please!’

His friend said, “The new game’s name is… why are you listening to our conversation?”

I looked at them with a shocking look on my face. I saw Justin Bieber is controlling his laughter while his friend kept laughing at me.

My face went bright red. Embarrassed, I walked away.

Note to self: Never eavesdrop on your crush’s conversation ever again! EVER!

 

I hurriedly get-up from my chair, put my pocket diary in my little bag, and walk in the karate room.

I search for Justin Bieber in the room. Oh yeah, there he is.

My eyes spot him. He is talking to this cute, black haired boy with the most fascinating freckles on his face.

Wow! Just look at them, I feel like I am being hypnotized. I know it is so bad to stare and that it is so wrong to not be fateful to one dude.

But I can’t help it.

For me, Justin Bieber is the most adorable guy in this room. I like him the best.

They just keep looking at me. Probably they are thinking I am stupid. Even if they do think I am, my dream boyfriend is still nice because he keeps smiling at me. His cute friend keeps giving me a confuse look.

However, my shyness turns my lips frozen that it can’t even make a way to turn upward to give him the best smile I had.

We start our warm-up exercises. The guy I like is in front of me once again.

Here I am, mesmerized by the beauty of his hair. My eyes will never be bored at looking at it.

Why fate did make him in front of me again so, that I could stare at his hair… so that I could touch it and feel it’s smoothness… or so that I could give it a gentle kiss?

Karate class ends. I go out of the karate room with Anne.

“Anne, I am going to take the elevator” I said to Anne who answers, “Sure.”

My eyes look at my dude who is near the elevator.

Oh boy! I will never get enough of his cheerful smile.

I look away and take the stairs with Anne.

I will never have the courage to make my frozen lips unfrozen so that I can smile back at him.

My friend says to me with a question mark on her voice, “I thought you are going to take the elevator?”

I just smile feeling the heat of my cheeks. I am not answering her because I am trying to hide about my feelings towards my Justin Bieber.

I hope she won’t notice that my heart is pounding so fast like the tidal wave of the ocean. What a weird statement!

I look over my shoulder to see his irresistible charm. I look away and smile thankful for seeing him today.

Karate classes for the next weeks were amazing and exciting. The sisters and I become closer friends. Still, I enjoyed seeing my crush smile at me and ended up staring at him all day.

He just does the same thing, smile at me.

We had a Karate test it’s for me turning into the second level.

I did well, including all of my friends. We congratulated one another.

I wish Justin Bieber saw how I did, but he was already a blue belt, so he won’t be there.

It’s almost been two months since I joined Karate, and here I am on my first day of being a yellow belt… Yehey!

I was looking everywhere around me to check if my guy is around. All I can see is karate people playing soccer. Where is he today? Is he not going to karate today?

Karate class starts.

I feel like my body wants to collapse because he isn’t here.

I hear the sound of the door opening, my heart keeps telling me, “Oh please be Justin Bieber.”

I look behind me. Yes, indeed it was him! Oh God! Thank you for another awesome day of my life. He is now behind me not so far away. I am so incredibly lucky.

After our warm-up, my karate mates and I are doing the leg-exercise so that we’d be a great kicker.

I look at him who is not so far away from me. He is the cutest guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life!

Looks like, they are doing the sparring thing today.

Hey, wait a minute! I hope what my eyes are seeing is just an illusion!

His sparring partner is a girl? Why is his sparring partner a girl? I feel the intense jealousy inside my heart of seeing him and that girl having a great time sparring each other. I wish I was the one who is there being his sparring partner. The way he smiles right now you can see how happy he is having a sparring partner who is a girl.

Man! Why in the world I am not that girl? Why in the world he is laughing? And why in the world he isn’t looking at me?

My beautiful mind creates a heartbroken speech. That always happens whenever I feel the clash of pain.

He and I are really impossible!

I am not so cute; I am not pretty; and I am not beautiful. Of course I am not ugly. I am not the one you’ve been looking for since you were a kid. I know you will never wish to marry a girl like me. I know; I am not your ideal girl.

You know what maybe what I felt was wrong.

I felt that you are my forever but… I know it isn’t true.

This heart is not true! I hate my liar heart.

I don’t like you. Okay, I like you but I know you don’t like me. Why would you even like me?

Look at me, my hair is so dark and my eyes are so black. And my skin is not clear! I have a pimple on the tip of my nose.

I am an Asian and you are a Westerner. I know you can never like me and I know you would never even try to like me! You will never ever… ever… ever… ever… ever… ever like me!

Okay, this is not good! My stomach is full. I think I ate too much. I think I drank too much water that my stomach feels too heavy!

I feel that it’s sinking down to the floor. It is not my heart, but my stomach. Yeah, I lied. Of course it is my heart!

My heart is not broken! A heart will never be broken. Even in an x-ray; it is not broken. It is still fixed; a one-piece heart. I lied again, of course I am heart broken.

So, this is what it feels to be heart broken. Every word in this message for you hurts me!

Here it goes again; my heart is sinking down and it feels too heavy.

Yup, Karate class is over.

 

Without Valerie’s knowledge she left her pocket diary, Justin Bieber looks at the sofa and he sees it.

He asks himself due to his surprise, “A diary?”

He sits down while looking at the small diary with interest.

He quickly takes it and looks everywhere around him to check if there is some person around who is looking.

He knows it’s a crime holding someone’s diary, but due to his curiosity he still opens it.

As he reads the first page, he tells himself amuse, “Me? Justin Bieber?”

He can’t stop laughing whenever she wrote, the most beautiful golden brown hair and mesmerizing blue eyes.

“Oh God, she is so cute!” He says with jubilee in his juvenile heart.

His favorite part is the line,

“By fate, we are brought together on the elevator.” which always puts a smile on his face every time.

He closes the diary, and gives it a kiss with a ‘mwah’ sound effect. After that, he laughs the longest laughter in the world’s history ever.

 

The next Karate class, I am not in the mood. I am not happy even if he is there right in front of me again. Even if his hair is so beautiful and his posture is so firm, I am not smiling anymore.

I feel crushed and at the same time, for the first time ever, I am glad that the class is over.

Standing here outside of the karate building, I am waiting for my mom to walk out of the building.

I take a gaze at my karate crush walking in front of my mom inside the karate building.

Just by watching him, always helps remove the pain I feel.

Every part of my life I always secretly look at him. Okay maybe not. I think he does know I keep looking at him.

But if he stares at me now the way he did when I first saw him, what will I do? If he smiles at me now, what will I do?

My karate crush passes by the glass door. I look up and I am shocked to see his beautiful eyes meet mine. I suddenly forgot the heartbreaking feeling I had, I am so mesmerized by its color because his eyes have the same color of the summer sky.

I like his forehead it’s so clear and even in a one inch distance, I can’t see any pores.

He smiles at me and the more I gaze at those sky blue eyes, the more I knew that forever is real.

His eyes look on the side, he slightly chuckles, and walk away.

I look over my shoulder and take a long gaze at him.

Will he ever know that I like him?

I look away and I smile… maybe. 

 

(TO BE CONTINUED) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 25.12.2013

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