Inhalt

Deserved Love

I would die for you
I would stand in the rain and wait
I would cry for my whole life for you

And you would still never love me

You would hide my body in the closet
You would make lightning hit
You would laugh
As I began to sob

But he would love me

He would bring me back to life
He would give me his jacket to keep me warm
He would wipe my tears
And kiss the sadness away

He deserves the love
You made impossible to give
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Why?

I sat at the window
Looking over the city
Thinking, why?

Why does sadness follow me?
Why does happiness sit just out of my reach?
So close,
But yet so far away

They look at me
They all know
Why do they have to know?

“They’re here to help.”
“They want to make you better.”

No they don’t
They just want to brag about helping a person
Who can’t help herself

They really are THAT stupid
They can’t help me
No one can
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Don't Leave Me

If I let you run,
Would you run right back?
If I helped you fly,
Would you land again?
Or would run away…?
Soar the skies without me…?
My heart needs someone to protect it
If I trust you… will I make the right choice?
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If

If I died today…
Would you cry?
If you cried…
Would those tears be real?
If they were…
Would you know why?
Would they be of sadness…?
Of anger…?
Of frustration…?
Of loneliness…?
…Of joy…?
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Rolls Eyes

Take a pause
Take a step back
Turn around

One quick kiss
Then run inside

Slam the door
And blush

Sit down
And smile

Dance around the room
Squealing with happiness

A short text
‘i luv u’

… CLASSIC BORING LOVE STORY!!!
*gags*
So cliché!
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Not Ready Yet

Why do you tell me to grow up,
When I’m only a little girl?

You say I won’t be little forever.
That I’ll have to grow up someday.

But you don’t understand.
That’s what I mean exactly.

I won’t be little forever.
I’ll have to make my own life one day.
I’ll have to grow up.

But not now.
Not while I only have a short while left as a child.
A little while left being wild.

I want to scream at nothing!
I want to dance and twirl when I have nothing better to do!
I want to be me.
I want to be a child.

If just for a little while.
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<3

I wanna be like you one day.
I wanna be as sweet,
As loving,
As caring.

I wanna be as funny,
A child at heart,
To make people smile,
To make people laugh.

I wanna be a friend as amazing as you.
To always be there.
And always listen.

You always say God gave you me.
But I think it’s the other way around.

I got you.
Always giving me crazy nicknames,
Always smiling,
Always being you.

Teaching me
To always be me.
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Dying Slow

Every day I die
A little more inside

Thinking of sweet
Sugarcoated lies

Yes, I know
My life is perfect
Or… at least, as good as it gets

More lies

No one’s life is perfect
Nothing ever is
I won’t cry over what can’t be changed
Because crying can’t change it

Plus, I don’t want sympathy
I don’t want sorrow
And I ESPECIALLY

don’t want help

I’m happy with keeping it bottled up inside
Because I’m okay if I slowly die
A little more inside

By the hand of sweet
Sugarcoated lies

I’m not scared to say goodbye
Because of the pain caused by the ‘hi’

Bye-bye

No, I haven’t died:)
Not there
Not yet

Don’t look so disappointed

Haha, I know
But, I’m not saying bye
To my totally awesome life

I’m saying bye to you
Who’s trying to ruin it

So… once again
(Now that we have everything clarified…)

Bye-bye!
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Being Me

I love who I am
And that will never change

Yes, sometimes I get insecure
Yes, sometimes I feel like I don’t belong

But you don’t learn to hate yourself
You learn to love yourself

And I can tell you right now…
I don’t belong
I wasn’t made to fit in

I was made to stand out in a crowd

I’m know some people think that I’m nothing special
And I don’t mind
I’m special to myself
I’m special to some people

So if you (whoever you are) don’t think I’m special…
Good for you

I will always be me
And being me is special
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My Secret Crush

I pass you in the halls
And I blush

You never look my way
You never say hello
We don’t talk much anymore
But I think of you always

In my heart
In my mind

Behind my eyes
I see your face

Your new glasses
Covering your beautiful eyes
Your smile
With dimples and braces

I think of all the stupid jokes you made last year
When we were bored in class
And had no one else to talk to

When the kid in front of me turned around and said,
“I think he has a crush on you.”
And you stuttered going “nah…”

Whatever
Maybe I’ll see you next year

Or try and get the guts to talk to you this year…
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Words like Knives

I don’t care

Yes I do

Your words hurt
Like knives in my heart

But I roll my eyes
And walk away

When I begin to cry inside

Sometimes, people even think it’s a joke
It won’t hurt my feelings
I don't have any

It doesn’t matter if you don’t mean it
It doesn’t matter if it isn’t true

You’re my friend
You’re supposed to care

But you don’t
You never have

You even act like you don’t mean it
But, really
You do
You wouldn’t try so hard to make me cry in the first placce
If you didn't
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He Knows

I hate them right now
Whoever they are

They told him my secret
…my secret crush…

Why would they do that…?

I don’t think I told them
Whoever they are

I only told my friends…
At least,
I think they’re my friends
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I Just Don't Get It

Hmm…
I don’t get it.

What do I not get?
Everything.

I don’t get feelings.
Physical or emotional.

They’re so complicated.
All of them.
I might get to figure it out someday…
Someday when I’m older.

Or maybe,
Just maybe,
I’ll never get it at all.
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Torn Apart

My heart doesn’t break
It shatters

I don’t get hurt
I get destroyed

You say I’m fine
But you know I’m not

Nobody cares
And I couldn’t care less
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Proud. Even when I'm not.

I’m growing
A little more confident
In who I am

I see myself
So much better

I don’t insult my self
I don’t feel as out of place

Do you really think I’m gonna let you ruin that?

Say what you want

And even though it will hurt
I won’t let you ruin
As I see myself now

Go spread cruel rumors
Make everyone hate me

‘Cause I don’t need you
And I don’t need them
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Sweet Little Girl

Don’t cry
Sweet little girl

I’ll always love you
Yes, I’ll ALWAYS love you

I’ll always be there
I promise

Through bullying
Through heart break
Anything

I’m going through stuff like that right now
And I have people there for me
So you will, too

You’re a big part of my world
For someone so small

Well…
Actually, you aren’t that small anymore

You’re a little lady now
So sweet
So beautiful

You’re growing up
And hard things will come

But I PROMISE

I’ll always love you
Yes, I’ll ALWAYS love you

Sweet little girl
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Mistakes

I know I make mistakes
I know I’ll make mistakes
I’m probably making a mistake right now
I just don’t know it

Everyone makes them
They SAY they learn from them

But if you ACTUALLY learn from your mistakes…
YOU MUST BE A FREAKING GENIUS!!!!
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My Best Friend

“I’m forever alone.”
She said.

“No one cares.
No one loves.
I don’t belong here.
Here, with them.”

She’s wrong.
She’s right.

“You’re only alone,
If you allow yourself to be.

“I care.
I won’t say I love you…
That’d be kind of weird…
But you are my best friend.”

“I don’t belong here either.
I don’t belong with them.”

“We stand out.
We blend in.
We’re special.
We’re normal.
We’re us.”
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Like Me

I don’t want to be like you one day.

I want to be like me.

I want to make a difference.

I want to make a change.

I want to stand out.

I want… I want…

To follow my own path.
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Already

You made me cry
Broke my heart
Before you even had it
You weren’t supposed to know
And when you found out
You laughed

Then you told me you don’t care

I would have been fine
If I never knew you knew

But you had to point it out
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Loneliness

I'm alone
Very alone

When I walk the halls
I do it alone

When I read my books
I do it alone

I have my friends
My awesome friends

But they can’t always be around
So I do it alone

I’m alright with being alone

That’s why I listen to my music
That’s why I read my books
That’s why I do this

Sit alone
And write

But sometimes loneliness hurts

Sometimes loneliness cries

Sometimes…
Loneliness leaves
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Always

Always

Always loving

Always laughing

Always thinking

Always hating

Always leaving

Always screaming

Always yelling

Always crying

Always on the inside

Always silent
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Light and Dark

Darkness is warm
And safe

Darkness is cold
And scary

Light is the same

It can be warm
And safe

It can be cold
And scary

In the darkness
You can’t see what hides

In the light you can

Darkness
You can feel safer
If you don’t know it’s there
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t
And you can always imagine

Light
You can feel safer
If you know it’s there
And can TRY to stop it

Maybe you don’t want to see

What hides
And what shows
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Everything

I’m alone
Always alone

I don’t get a passing glance in the halls
I don’t get a hello

I have my friends
I have my best friends
My awesome friends

Who can’t always be there

They have their own problems in life
That they have to deal with

But when I sit alone
I always wonder
Things I wish I don’t

I remember heartbreak
And I remember stupidity
And I remember all those things
I wish I didn’t

So when I sit alone

You’re always here somewhere
In the back of my mind

Of the heartbreak you caused
That made me cry

No one knows I cry
I hide my tears

I don’t want sorrow
I don’t want pity

I just want you
To care

I know I shouldn’t
Because I know you don’t
But I can’t help it

I always smiled when I thought of you
Smiled so big I couldn’t breathe

Then they told you
How much I care
And you told me you don’t

Why would you do that?
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Slowly, but Surely

I’m getting over you
Slowly
But surely

You looked at me
For the first time
In WEEKS
Yesterday

And I felt hopeful
For some stupid reason

Now I’m mad at myself

I let myself feel something for you again
Even after how bad you hurt me

After how you made me cry

But now
I don’t care
Because I’m getting over you

Slowly
But surely
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All Gone

Oh, how she cried
When they all died

When they left her alone
When they left her all alone

She’d sit
And wait

For the family
She knew would never come

Never ride down the road again
Never kiss her forehead

Her brother
Never picking on her

Her mother
Never smiling
Or picking a sweet red rose

Her father
Never spreading his cheer
With his booming laughter

Her sister
Never helping her
When she would sit and cry

Her lover
Never giving her sweet stolen kisses
Never smiling at her
Never complimenting her
Even when she looked her worst

She loves them
They loved her

And now they’re gone

Leaving her alone
Leaving her all alone

Oh, how she cries
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So Different

He always smiles
He always jokes

He always looks away
He never looks my way

Not so very different

Wrong

He is so sweet
Always so sweet

He broke my heart
He shattered it

But neither ever know
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Scars

Who could hurt you so bad
To make you do what you did?

You still bear the scars
Of your pain

I haven’t known you long
But I think of you as my sister
And I care for you like one

And I’ll always wonder
Who could be so cruel
As to make you feel so low

Those freaking meanies...
Want me to beat 'em up?
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Just as I don't Wanna

I don’t wanna live in pain
I don’t wanna live in fear

I don’t wanna know
That you would give the world
Just to see me cry

I don’t wanna
Still wanna give the world
Just to see you smile

As evil as it is beautiful
As numbing as it is painful
As sweet as it is murderous

As you
As it is a part of me

As it is forever
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Please!

If I had died
Right now
Would you have cried?

As my blood rand down the sink
Would you even blink?

Those stitch marks on my hand mean something
They’re holding me together
Reminding me not to fall apart

You’d probably laugh
If it all went wrong
And you know it already has

Please!
I’m holding that damn knife right now!

Just say the words
I’m yours
Just say the words
I’m gone

It’s all my fault
Everything is my fault

I’m so sorry
I’m so very sorry

I’ll do anything at all

Anything

Please!
I’m holding that damn knife right now!

They made me promise no
But I had my fingers crossed

I couldn’t make that promise
It was one I knew I might not be able to keep

They know
Just how much I adore you

I would die without you

So please!
I’m holding that damn knife right now!

I would die without you

But, right now
As I look at those stitch marks
I’m reminded
Not to fall apart

So please!

Please

Please
Just go
Because I’m so gone
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Honestly?

Honestly…
I’m so not over you

Not even close

I saw her talking to you today
I just walked off and ignored it

And then,
I heard you laugh
At one of her jokes

You used to laugh at my jokes
I used to laugh at your jokes
Even though they were stupid and perverted
You could always put me in a good mood

You walked her down the hall
Never even looked my way

And I’m not mad at her

She doesn’t know
She’s my friend

Just… don’t make her cry
And hurt her
As bad as you hurt me

Even though everything hurts

It’s getting better
It’s getting so much better

He turns around and talks to me
He says the most idiotic jokes
She watches stupid videos with me when I’m sad
She pokes my stomach (something is definitely wrong with her)
His voice cracks (I know he can’t help it, it’s just so funny)

All my friends
Are trying to help

Her
Do you like her?

She’s a good friend
And I can tell she always will be

So… just don’t hurt her
And make her cry
Like you did to me
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Fears

I’m not afraid of the dark
I’m not afraid of pain
I’m not afraid of my weaknesses
I’m not afraid of loneliness

But I’m afraid
That it will all happen again

I’m afraid I’ll be destroyed
Once again

I’m afraid that he’ll tell me no
I’m afraid that he’ll let me go

I’m afraid…
Of what I know will happen one day

I’m terrified of my future
Of what I might do this time

I’m afraid
That this time
It'll be so much harder
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Hi

Hi,
I’m Brooke.
I’m 12 years old.

And I know
Just how cruel
The world can be sometimes.

I know
That things don’t always end happily.

I know
Just how badly
I’ve messed some things up.
So badly
That they’re impossible to fix.

I know
Exactly who I am.

So,
You can say whatever you want.

As long as I know who I am
As long as I know
That things can always get better

I know
That I
Am just as good as them.
I know
That I
Am just as good as you.

I am ALWAYS
Going to be
Me

Because I feel
That I am as perfect
In as many ways as I’m not
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Dreams

Sometimes I get scared
And disappointed
When I look ahead to the future

I think of how
I haven’t done anything big in my life
And I’m growing fast

I’ll have to learn to be responsible one day
… It’s all gone by so fast

I’m not ready for the future
I’m so scared
It’s all gone by so fast

I think of how little time
I have until I’m an adult

I think of how one day I’ll fall in love
And hope someone falls in love with me

But sometimes
I realize I’m no one special
I’m normal
Those big things that I see in my head
Are just thoughts

But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming
I don’t think that it ever will

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Perfection

I’m not perfect
Nowhere near

I’m not the prettiest
I don’t need you to tell me

I don’t always receive kind words
I don’t always give kind words
I’m not always the nicest person

I have fears
I know just how bad some of the things I’ve done are
I’ve had thoughts that pain me to remember
I’ve seen things that give me nightmares

I’ve had heartbreak
I’ve cried my eyes out
And I never let anyone know

I’ve had my fair share of happy memories
And I’ve had plenty of memories that are the exact opposite

I’m living in this world of happiness and pain
I’m living in this world of imperfection

I’m not perfect
I think that it is absolutely impossible

to be perfect
Because being perfect
Is an imperfection
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I am that one.

Why am I always the joke?
Why am I always the one you treat as if I had a personality of skin and bones?
Why am I always the one that makes you feel pity?
Why am I always the one that fears to die alone?
Why am I always the one you know is going to just go?

I am that one because I don’t stand up for myself.
I am that one because I refuse to talk.
I am that one because I just look at you.
I am that one because I'm just not that one.
I am that one because I can’t stay.

I am it all because I’m stuck as me.
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I Know

I know that I cry sometimes
When no one is around
When loneliness swallows me whole

I know that I wanna just disappear sometimes
When all around is cruelty
When all around is pain

I know that I'm not the most perfect person
When you put the truth in my face
When you state the obvious

I know that I'm not the strongest
I know I don't always fit in to your world
I KNOW I'm not perfect

I don't need you to state the obvious
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Life

I'm so confused
Why does it all have to happen so fast?
Why does it all have to go away so slow?

Life has its ups and downs
Sometimes it makes a pitstop

It speeds up and slows down...
It pushes you ahead
And jerks you back

I just want it to go at a steady pace
Because it's just so hard to keep up

But I doubt it will wait for me
I'll just have to find a way
To make it work out
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All Wrong- Please! Version 2

If I died right now
Would you shed a tear?

As my blood ran down the sink
Would you even blink?

They made me promise no
But I had my fingers crossed

I couldn't make a promise
That I might not be able to keep

I'm sorry
I'm so, so sorry
I'm so very sorry

Please!
I know that I messed up
I know it all went wrong
I know that it's all my fault

Please
Please forgive me

I cried a million tears
I shattered my own heart
I let it get to me
'Cause I knew that you were never coming back

Please!
Please forgive me!

I'm so sorry
I'm so, so sorry
I'm so very sorry

I know I'm all alone
I know that you don't care
I know that I'm just another girl whose heart you stole

I know you won't forgive me
There's nothing to forgive
You just needed a reason to leave

I'm sorry
I'm so, so sorry
I'm so very sorry

Please!

Please

Please forgive me

Please don't tell
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Today

I found out who it was
Who ruined it all
Who shattered my heart
Who told you my secret

You’re so nice about it
You joke like it doesn’t matter

But I can see it in your eyes
It isn’t as easy to talk to me
Is it?

I don’t know how she found out
I don’t know why she told you

I can’t do anything about it
I can’t change anything about the way I feel

I was almost over you
Almost

Then you spoke to me
You laughed with me
You joked

I missed you
And I still do

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Destroyed

The world will end one day
But mine already has

It was destroyed
Shattered

And my soul crumbled right along with it

Now I’m just like an empty shell
I don’t feel the pain
I don’t see the colors
I don’t understand your feelings

I was left broken
And no one planned on fixing me

I know you tried
And I appreciate the effort

But it just doesn’t matter anymore

I’m just empty
I’m hollow
Broken
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My World

My world seems gray
The color drained

My world is lonely
The comfort gone

My world has no soul
The emotion nonexistent

My world is dead
The heartbeat gone

My world is me

Colorless
Lonely
Soulless
Dead

Me
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You

You make me laugh
You say the most stupid things
You’re always so sweet
You’re always so kind

Always away
Always gone

Maybe one day
I always say

It’s okay
It always is

You’re awesome
You should know

You made me feel better
You make me smile
You’re always so funny
You’re always so nice
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Questions

If I learned to love
With all my heart
Then would I be good enough?

If I wore an inch of makeup
Then would you call me pretty?

If I laughed at all your jokes
No matter how mean
Then would you be interested?

I asked you that today

You said I was always good enough

You said I was extremely beautiful
Even when I wear not a speck of makeup
And my hair is a mess

You said you’ll always be interested
The way I am is perfect
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Eternity

I can’t go another step
But I’ll follow you forever

I can’t take another breath
But I’ll always sing for you

My heart has already stopped
But it will always skip a beat when you’re near

And once my eyes have forever closed
I’ll always see you

I belong to you
My heart
My mind
My soul

But now, I must go

I’ll be with you forever
Always with you forever

My love
My life

My one
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Keep Going

Rain cracks against the windshield
Shatters like shards of glass
I’m not going to stop

Billboards fly by
With blinding white light
But I see my future paved ahead

The red tail lights tell me to stop
But I want to keep on going

Chapel Creek passes by
And I won’t stop here

Keep driving
Keep fighting
Keep smiling

Almost home
So close

Fear of a wreck just doesn’t scare me enough

Bumps in the road will always be there
No way to stop them
No way to avoid them

I may get a scratch
I may get a ticket
I may be hurt

But I see my future paved ahead
No way am I going to stop here
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Leave Me Alone

Leave me alone
I can’t take it anymore

I’m sorry if you thought wrong
But it’s just not meant to be

I know that you mean well
But there is just no way

You should know who you are
Don't second guess

I’m terrified right now

Absolutely not

No

Leave me alone
I can’t take it anymore
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Terrifyingly Lovely

That bittersweet smile was set on his lips
That same gleam filled his eyes

I was pushed aside so fast
I was pushed aside so carelessly
So cruelly

I’ve learned to live with what was done
And I’m sorry that he’s left
But not as sorry that I still love him

He left me all alone
He left me cold
He left me heartless

He comes over to talk and smile
Just to torture me more
Just to make the pain stronger

I feel like breaking down
I feel like crying
I feel like screaming

I just want it to get better
I just want it to go away

I just want to forget
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Now

She’s so lucky

Every day when we sit and talk
She always talks about him

He walks by and blows her a kiss
He holds her hand in the halls

They just act so in love

I used to have that
I used to want that

Now, I don’t

I’m glad that she’s happy
I’m glad that he cares

But him

He

broke my heart
He

walked away
He

destroyed me

What’s done is done, I guess
Nothing can be changed

But he

…
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Muarharhar!!!!!

Muarharhar
My word of the day

… WORD OF THE DAY!?

That should be word of the year…

Wait… word of the century!!!!

My awesome psychotic laughing

I know it makes you laugh, too

Stop trying to not to…

Say it

Just say it

Say ‘Muarharhar’

SAY IT!!!!!!!!!

You know you want too…

Did you say it?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Wasn’t it fun?

Well….

MUARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!!!!!!!!!
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I... I just... Why?

I need to know
I need you to tell me the truth

What I saw today… please tell me that it was just in my head

I thought I saw… a scar

A new one

You’re my best friend
You’re practically my sister

I can’t lose you
I can’t lose you again

I need to know
I need you to tell me the truth

Was it real?
It can’t be real…

Please don’t let it be real!

I need you around

I was lost long ago
But you’re still here

I just don’t know what to say

I made you promise
I promised
He promised
We all promised

Please… tell me it isn’t true
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Simply Love

My smile keeps on growing
And I’ll go to sleep knowing
You’re there

I can’t believe how it all turned out
I guess this just happens
You leaned down to kiss my pout

I’m as happy as ever
Because now I know
I have a love that’ll last forever
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Face

My face has lost its smile
Has lost its shine
You’ll never see a laugh line

I don’t cry when I’m sad
I won’t smile, or even laugh

I just stare at you like a blank canvas
Empty and dead

Say as many jokes
Make as many faces
Cry any time

I’m sorry
But I’m not even mine

I’m not yours
Definitely not yours

I’m empty
I’m not even mine

My face has lost its smile
Has lost its shine
Now you’ll never see a laugh line
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I guess I was just having a... moment?

Erm… I was just having one of those… moments?

It wasn’t that stupid…
I was just curious…

No… it didn’t do what I expected…
I didn’t really expect anything…

I don’t know!
I didn’t eat it…

But I thought about it…

I don’t know how to fix it…
Is there a repair man for this?

No, I don’t know why it turned into… whatever that is…

Hey, hey, hey… don’t look at me like that…
I told you, I was just having a… moment?

Uhh… I guess I have learned my lesson…

Fine… I promise…

I won’t try to turn a sock into a burrito in the microwave ever again.
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I Don't

I don’t cry in front of you.

I don’t let you see my pain.

I don’t let you see how broken I am.

I don’t need you to feel bad for me.

I don’t feel bad for me.

I’ll be okay.

In the end… I guess.
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I'll Try

I promise I’m sorry for all my mistakes
All my imperfections

I can’t be as you want me
I just don’t know how

But I’ll try my best

I always do
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Sorry

I never make promises
Because I don’t like breaking them

I don’t always tell the truth
Because lying can be easier

I don’t cry or smile
Because those are my weaknesses

I don’t speak
Believe it or not
Because everything is used against me

When you look into my eyes
You can see my pain
You can see my secrets

Every regret
The reflection of every tear shed
Every memory once held dear

Now, my past is my fear
My future, is far too near

How I am
Is how I’m stuck
Forever

Millions of years
Full of painful tears
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Always and Forever, Yours.

Is it wrong to feel this way?

You’ve been like a brother, but I’ll always know that you’re not.
Because I really just don’t think that I like you that way.
It’ll always be so much more.

Your smile stops my heart, just for a short moment.
Your laugh will always make me smile.
You’ve caught my heart, but I don’t want it back.
You can keep it forever.
Because it’ll forever belong to you.

Oh, since when was I the romantic type?
Since when did I get jealous so easily?
Is it wrong that I pray that she isn’t right?

Because if it is or not, right now my heart is shattered.
But it's also still hoping.

I always feel like that odd one out, you never do.
But you've accepted me for me.
Thank you.

Always and forever,
Yours

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Trapped

I’m beautiful.
I’m confident.
I don’t care, I don’t give a damn.
I laugh, radiating happiness.
I’m sweet and lovely; a dreamer.
I’m a little angel.

No.

I tell myself lies to make me feel better.
I cry just enough, but how would you know?
I tell you that I laugh.
I’m cruel and awful; my secrets can kill.
It’s all of my pain.
More like a demon.

No.

None of it is true.
But I just don’t know… please help me.
I’m so confused… I’m scared… please!
What are my truths?
Please… please help…

Help!

Impressum

Texte: My book. Not yours. You take it, you are doomed... Enjoy!
Bildmaterialien: Backgrounds
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.09.2012

Widmung:
Every inspiration... Every heart break. Every cruel person. Every happy memory.

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