BookRix

Ahh...forgive me! Try this.

"A'maira Ramirez, a strong willed teenager who has a good head on her shoulders, wasn't looking for love. It just found her.

Note the comma placements that I added. I broke the longer sentence in two, putting "It just found her." on its own...more for impact than anything else. Had you placed a comma after "love", that would have been fine. Correct.

Next sentence: "On her journey in life she run..." oops..."On her journey in life, she runs (add that "s" to runs) into Kaylin Jones, (comma) a smooth-talking thug she has been trying hard to avoid. Despite her attempts to say no, he opens her ice-filled heart.
Then go on from there:)

:) Hi Skye.

Okay...let's do some basic stuff to help you improve your chances of having Young Heart read...

Re-read that blurb. See if you can improve it. That's the first thing, other than the cover (very good one, save there is no title or author name present) that potential readers see. "...on her shoulders wasn't looking..." Probably would read better if you ended the opening sentence at "shoulders", and then started a new one, ie., "She wasn't looking..." Do the same thing with the remainder of the sentences. Keep in mind...you must really hook the reader somehow.

The book itself. Grammar! Re-read and polish it. We all need an editor. My advice; find a good one here. Also, and this is important: Think "White Space". That is creating paragraphs to break the monotony of one loooooong paragraph on the readers' eyes. It's vital. Readers quickly lose interest in reading, even if the story is good, when formatting is incorrect.

The competition among authors is extreme. EVERYWHERE (not only here at Bookrix). If you seriously wish to have readers buy (or even read for free) your novel, which you've spent hours and days and months creating, it must be nearly letter-perfect in all respects.

I congratulate you for creating a story that most likely is very engaging and fraught with tension, love-gone-wrong, etc. I honestly know what it means to you. Study what others have done, vis a vis blurb, cover, and most importantly, writing mechanics. And, don't give up when the going gets tough(est)!

Welcome to Bookrix:)

I WISH YOUR BOOK WAS FREE SO I COULD READ IT. IT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD READ THOUGH.

Arrange the story in paragraphs that will make reading easy. Good start! You are a good story teller for the story flows smoothly like a stream!! Keep writing!

I finished the sample. Some pointers for editing:
1.Write in either microsoft word, or if you can't get it, then download open office, which is free and nearly as good. This will help with your spelling mistakes and some of the grammar.
2. You should read through it out loud and make sure that it flows nicely. There are sentences that just don't make sense which you could easily fix and spot.
Do as you like, but I wouldn't suggest selling this right away. In my opinion you should start by just posting it on bookrix as free. While its available for free you will get way more feedback, which will let you edit it to perfection. You can always sell it later. More people will buy it if you first edit it and allow more people to get to know your writing.