BookRix

(°ᴗƪ) ➜ ︀↪ ＷＷＷ.ＤＡＴＥ４ＦＵＱ.ＣＯＭ?_ebook-yu-secret-society

I wonder what will happen to Bella? Ohhh can't wait for more!!!

You have a terrific concept! Almost Stephen King-ish. You seem to have put a lot of thought into the plot.

You do have some problems with tense - you keep switching from present to past, sometimes in the same paragraph or sentence. Also, your quotation marks are going the wrong way.

But that said, I'm totally impressed with the realistic dialogue, the way you hint at what's to come, and how you've developed your idea.

You have a lot of potential here, both for your story and as a writer. Keep at it! I can see this kind of thing being a movie one day! 'D

i like your book