Falling Into Ashes

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Falling Into Ashes
5 years after the king dies and his mother is forced to marry, Ash is just about ready to start a war. His step-father is an evil man... or how Ash puts it 'the devil's incarnate'. Join Ash and his new found allies, as he tries to save his world... from falling into ashes.

Stichwörter: 
snow white, guy, ash, fairy tale, falling
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Gelöschter User

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RSantore

Just a few things to mention, but so far I like it :)

1) Use paragraphs, so far I haven't seen a single one
2) each time a new person speaks you make a new paragraph, that way there's no confusion in speakers
3) euros are a modern currency, why not make a new one for your story?
4) (last one I promise) if its an empire there would be an emperor not a king

But other than those few things I think you've got a pretty good thing... mehr anzeigen

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Gelöschter User

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