BookRix

i lahve eht!! <3

The cover is awesome I love the style of it. First off some formatting issues that just might be a computer issue. I know I’ve had them. Go through and check the spelling some words are missing letters, Also use of a thesaurus would help from repeating certain words. Great story can’t wait for more! ~Faith

If this is a duplicate, I apologize...I am having issues with my computer.
First, I see many of the comments have the same issues I do with this piece. Spelling, Grammer, Punctuation, and Rushing the story line. There were times when you were switching the conversations between characters and I had to reread to determine which one was speaking, so I want to also state that you need to add some more indicators to identify the speaker more often..It is easy to confuse when you say "Her" or "she" and there are two females speaking...

I am happy to read that you are working on these issues already, I look forward to reexamining this when you have. :)

I think I may have even read this a month or so ago...so be encouraged that your work made the list and I remember your book! Good Luck and keep plugging along!

There are several issues here. First may be a formatting problem in converting your story from whatever program you use to Bookrix's formatting. If you copied and pasted then it is errors in punctuations. There are "*" instead of " " to indicate speaking on the very first page.
There are multiple spelling and grammer errors including breaks in sentence structures. Make sure you add "s" or "ly" or "ing" where appropriate. Further along, you need to indicate the speaker (either before or after the quote marks) more often so that the reader isn't confused when you switch between characters.
Overall, your story has promise, but needs to be re-edited.

I am not going to mention the grammar and such because you already know. You really have a good story going and would love to read the rest when you are finished.

Your writing style is smooth and free flowing. Yet, take care to spell check and proof read so that typos and spelling mistakes will not interrupt the flow of good reading.

Your story has really touched my heart.
Sadly, life can be a bitch & is not always a 'bed of roses', but I hope Miranda has the strength to hold onto her new found faith.
Chris

i know about the mistakes i'll have to fix them later haven't had the time.

Serena, here is my advice for you. Although I can see this story comes from your heart, and is very touching, there is something important you MUST do before uploading it. You must first use spell-check, to make sure every word is spelled correctly - or have a friend proof read your work for you. Second, read everything you have written out loud. I do this with all my work, and it is amazing how helpful it can be. You will see how your sentences sound, and can change them as you read. Once you have fixed the spelling and grammatical errors, I am sure this will be a very moving piece of work. All the very best to you.

Despite some missspelled words here and there, i definitely have to say that I like your story. Hopefully, I will be able to read Chapter 4 soon.