Destroyed

Part 1 A story about a forbidden love between a human girl and a boy thats half vampire half werewolf Von:
User: Deveris
Destroyed
Sarah a normal human librarian that finds herself falling in love with Damion, who is half vampire, Half werewolf. What will she do if she finds out the truth? Damion on the other hand, also finds himself falling in love with Sarah. But will the laws of his kind allow them to be together or will they try to kill Sarah?


Dieses Buch ist Teil der Reihe "A forbidden love"
Alle Bücher dieser Reihe:
Destroyed
Part 1 A story about a forbidden love between a human girl and a boy thats half vampire half werewolf
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Choices
Part 2- Will Sarah be killed? Or will Damion decide to changer her after she has the baby?
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Final Decision
Part 3- Damion has a choice to either change Sarah or let her be killed. What will he do?
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Stichwörter: 
vampires, werewolf, love, forbidden, sarah, damion
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
shaela

creat interest and intriegue. A story is a journey. There should be more to it, than just getting from point A "the meeting", to point B "the consequence".

5 Kommentare
Deveris

I know I'm thinking of rewriting this

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Deveris

Idk if you still get on here. But I am gonna rewrite this at some point. Idk when tho

Wichtiger Beitrag
shaela

not much character developement. what are the characters actually like? Immortal vampire? He's lived through alot. He knows his actions Will affect the future. Even the descisions of mortals can affect the future, but he has many more chances to do so than most. I'd think he'd weigh "turning point" actions more heavily.

1 Kommentar
Deveris

Thanks for the advice. I'm thinking of rewriting it

Wichtiger Beitrag
shaela

can't make a decent comment. kind of choppy writing & contrived plot. deliberate meeting, deliberate "love", predictable couse of action.

1 Kommentar
Deveris

Yeah I know. I was still starting out somewhat when writing this

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

Goood(: I think you should add more to it.

Wichtiger Beitrag
Deveris

im goias soon as i get internet at home imng to im up in michigan at my dads

Wichtiger Beitrag
Viper365

What will happen next and you should keep going, you could make a mini-series.

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Kein Miniaturbild Entfernen Bitte wähle einen Grund aus Bitte gib die Stelle im Buch an. de de_DE