BookRix

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bookzilla, thank you very much. This is not edited at ALL. I'm having my sister edit for me right now. She's giving me tips and stuff. I didn't think I had that many spelling errors. Their names count as misspellings but I'll check my spelling again but I'm pretty sure I spelled most of it right. Thank you for your compliments! This is my first book in a VERY long time. I spent about half a year on this. I had some serious writers block for awhile.

i really like your cover!

you're a great storyteller, you are able to write about several characters having adventure in a really interesting way.

the one problem is that you need somebody to edit your work. there are lots of spelling/grammar mistakes that are kind of distracting. if you can fix these mistakes, your story will be way more readable.

also, you should try introducing the physical features of your characters a little later - you have them all listed on the first page when you should be setting up plot points instead. it's great to tell the reader more about your character to paint a picture of them in our minds, but try and find a new, more interesting and unique way to do it :)

really great start though, let me know if you add more or if you need help with some editing!