Some grammatical errors to clear up but easily accomplished with a quick edit. Perhaps a trifle over dramatic but well thought out as a beginning. What you do with the tale is the next part of the story. Please do keep working on it as I see real promise in this effort.
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your a really good storyteller
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Thanks :)
I like this! Continue this way, I've favorited it. Mind checking mine and perhaps favoriting them?
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Thanks chu! Im planning on updating today or tommorow. And sure no problem!
Thanks!!!
Nuu problem!!
Thank you for your feedback. :D i really appreciate it.