BookRix

Aww great thank you and that sounds like a great idea, I will message you.

Also, when paragraphing, space it out too. Like with mine, I did paragraphs but they are too close still so here it how it could be:

Heyy!! Just started reading this and its really good! Some feedback:

Try to not keep all of the writing in bunches of paragraphs but separate them whenever you are describing a new piece of information to the readers like when you describe a person (the husband and kidnappers), start a new paragraph.

Or when a new event happens like she noticed the car following her, start a new paragraph, when she hears his voice, start a new paragraph, when she actually gets kidnapped, start a new paragraph

It feels like I am skimming instead of reading every time I read something new and interesting happening which I know spacing the sentences apart would help with.!

The second chapter is easier to read because of the forma of the chapters.

Also there are some grammar errors like with the "...", when you use those, there are suppose to always be three dots and then a space to continue the next sentence. And this is how the word goatee is spelled instead of go-tee

But so far, I'm really intrigued to see what happens next... ugh! a serious cliff hanger lol

Please update!!

*And it doesn't even matter if the paragraph is 2 words, it is easier to read and creates a better effect like:

"SASHA!!"

"That's when I hear[d] someone call my name in an all too familiar, eerie voice"

I know that's not the order you wrote it in, but in this way, it comes as a surprise and then you reveal that the voice is familiar and eerie instead of letting the readers knowing someone is about to call your name.

Omg thank you so much for that feed back. I will go in today to do some editing to make it more understanding. I super appreciate your feed back and I will make those changes, thank you so much, my first reader!!!!! It will be completely updated by Sunday.

My book has been updated, I cant wait for more feedback