Arbithea

Two Worlds, One Life Von:
Arbithea

In search of her twin brother, Alexander gains powers that she never knew she could have. She also finds out family secrets that she wasn't suppose to know. Can Kenya live with this family secret and will she be able to find her twin brother?


Stichwörter: 
powers, school, leader, war, love
Beiträge und Kommentare
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Adam Lewis LaValley

Epic! I love the idea for how they use their minds to communicate with one another. Some parts gave me a few chuckles as well.

Overall, it was more than worth it to read this!

1 Kommentar
whitetiger9

Thanks so much! I try to make it funny.

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Jay Babee

Wow, this is really different and not at all what I was expecting!! It's original and really cool and I love it. Only thing I noticed was sometimes you have a few mistakes with your dialogue structure... For example, remember to put a comma at the end of dialogue instead of a full-stop (usually). Lemme know when you have more up!! =)

1 Kommentar
whitetiger9

Thanks!!

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angamonkey

You could use some punctuation in a few parts of the story , and there are some spelling errors, but apart from that, I love the set up :) I like how you point out the quirks in a girl having the name Alexander and they dynamic between all the siblings :) great job so far

1 Kommentar
whitetiger9

Thanks and your book was really good and I love the few poems that you had in there. :)

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RevkenR

I like the story, and the story concept. It is very interesting. The only thing is I was getting bogged down in the minutia. Too many little details that do not add to the story.

"I rolled out of bed." OK, but "I went to the closet and put on a blue shirt with some skinny jeans and my grey boots" Is this of any importance to the story? if it is, then leave it in, if not then "I got dressed" is enough.

"Then I walked to thew... mehr anzeigen

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Caterina A. Robinson

I'm not being rude... And if you didn't hear my comment earlier, I said that it was your fault she second guessed her writing talents. You may be like me and have very low tolerance for someone who keeps coming up with responses. Unless your the one making them. Now. PLEASE tell... mehr anzeigen

RevkenR

If you had read what she said, then, you wouldn't be so high and mighty. Sounds rude to me. At any rate I don't think I will be critiquing any of your books. I wish her and you the best of luck in your writing.

As far as this thread is concerned, I'm out.

Caterina A. Robinson

Well. Wasn't intended that way. But feel free to take it like that. Have a nice day :)

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xAutumnLeavesx

I love it! though the errors (They don't really bother me much, I usually watch the story line and characters closely), I found it very enjoying and entertaining to read! Keep up the good work love!!!

1 Kommentar
whitetiger9

Thanks!!!

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Light_Ark

highly interesting. the whole thing is really good. of course there were some word errors here and there but to be honest who hasn't made a mistake? :)

you did really well, I hope to see more. PS the cover is really cool, make it yourself :)?

Light_Ark

lol just keep up the good work with your book and I'm sure that it will go far. :)

whitetiger9

Thank you. :)

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