Smile Belle Chiquita

Von:
User: baby.girl
Smile Belle Chiquita
16 year old Kristen Teen is going to her first prom with the guy of her dreams. Liam is determined to make it a wonderful experience for Kris, but how can he? This poor girl just isn't feeling up to this glorified "Princess Pageant." Besides Kris isn't too confident in herself right now, with all the stresses of everyday life she just doesn't believe in her own beauty anymore. Can Liam change her mind before the end of the night by giving her her own advice? Can he make her feel beautiful-- loved-- while he has the chance? And if not, could he lose the girl he loves forever?

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Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

it off to a good start never loss site off what most import PS i whist you did not ask me to read it

3 Kommentare
Gelöschter User

but i did like it

judycolella

Good beginning! May I make a suggestion for smoother prose in the first sentence? "I stared at my reflection in the full-length mirror in my bedroom." would be simpler and bring the reader into the story more quickly. After this, though, your story flows along nicely - please... mehr anzeigen

baby.girl

Thanks Judy! :)

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