Smile Belle Chiquita

I stared at my reflection in the full length mirror in my bedroom. Who was this goddess staring back at me? Black jeweled thong flip flops peeking out from under the hem of a full length red, silk dress. Perfectly shaped toenails in the same shade of red as the dress. The dress skimmed over this goddess's curves beautifully, drawing the eye up with a jeweled empire waist that lifted her chest up and added curves. And finally blonde hair that was curled and fell over her shoulders. And flawless- absolutely flawless- makeup.

There was only one problem. This beautiful girl in the mirror wouldn't smile. "Smile, belle chiquita." I whispered. Her lips only copied mine. I sighed giving up. I had only to wait for Liam, my beautiful, perfectionist, wonderful date to arrive. He was taking me to prom, my first being 16, his last. I grabbed my sparkly animal print clutch and walked into the living room.

"Come here Kristen," my Mom said. She adjusted the straps on my dress and smiled at her handiwork, but not at me. I sighed, already feeling defeated.

"Do I look allright?" I asked.

"Yes Kristen. You're beautiful," she said absently. 

Just as I sat down, the doorbell rang. It was Liam, and I almost fainted at his gorgeousness. I was so excited I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly around the waist spinning me in a circle. "Liam," I said breathless.

"You are beautiful, Kristen," he said grabbing my hand. I interlaced my fingers through his and he kissed my cheek. "Ms. Teen," he said to my mom, "Thank you for letting me take Kristen to prom."

"Your welcome. Don't forget one o' clock."

"Allright," I said. "I love you, Mom. See ya afterwhile."

I followed Liam to his truck and once inside I pulled the keys from his hand and put them beside me. "Kristen!" he protested.

"Liam," I said teasing. I kissed him on the lips, stopping him from getting the keys. I sat on my knees so I was taller than him and french kissed him. He kissed me back trying to get me to sit down. I sat down and gave him the keys. I lived an hour from his school and we had three hours before pictures. SO about fortyfive minutes later I convinced him to pull onto a backroad.

I placed my hand on his cheek palm down. "I love you, Liam." I said quietly. I felt myself getting goosebumps and looked away.

"I love you too, Kris. Tell me what's going on." I wrapped my arms around him and rest my head on his chest. He wrapped me up tightly and said "Talk to me, Kris."

"I have nothing I can say. i just want you to know that."  I said. "I love you. I really do."

He pulled me away from him to see my face. "Are you scared of losing me?" he asked concerned. Unable to speak, I just nodded. "Oh, Kristen!" he exclaimed. 

He kissed me gently on the lips holding my hands in his. I felt the emotions he tried so hard to control. They almost overwhelmed me. I knew he had lost resolve just by this one simple gesture.

"Liam, talk to me!" I exclaimed.

"Kristen, what is it? I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes you will." I bit my lip and let him stare at me with that crazy look. He was confused, and I was scared if I cried, I'd mess up my makeup.

He grabbed my hand. "I'll make you a deal. After the dance, on the way home you can tell me what's going on. But right now you gotta smile, okay?" I nodded. "Smile, belle chiquita," he said. I smiled in spite of myself, that he was telling me the same thing I always told myself. That was very sweet in him.

Later after a million pictures, a dozen dances, and a few drinks it was time to go. To me it was a glorified school dance you had to dress up for. Add a romantic mood, and about a zillion times better decorations, maybe a couple proposals-- that's what it seemed to be. Don't get me wrong- it was the best time of my life; I had a ton of fun and got a few more kisses. But I was really more chill than a princess pagaent. Who gots the hottest guy in a tux? Who can dance in the highest heels? Who paid the most for their dress? Ugh, not the drama I wanted from a bunch of frilly princesses in six inch heels they can't even walk in.

As we crawled in his truck afterwards, I remembered the deal. I stared out the window, absently braiding a strand of hair. I felt Liam eyeing me and I shivered. He draped his tuxedo jacket over my shoulders. "Thanks Liam." I whispered.

"Remember the deal, Kris?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "Do I have to?"

"No, but it will make you feel better." I laughed dryly. He was so damn innocent. And he had just hit a nerve. I snapped.

"How do you know what will make me feel better? You think you know, and yeah for the most part you just might. But you're not with me every minute of every day. At school, at home, at church. I'm trapped in my own mind Liam. So do you? Do you know what will help me?"

He studied the road as he drove, and I swear I could feel his astonishment. I had hurt him with my petty pride. How could I do that to him?! I felt awful. Finally he spoke. "Yes Kris. Actually I do know."

I peered at him cautiously. I waited for him to continue. "You're sick and tired, Kris, of trying to be Miss Perfect, of people trying to change you, of- of not being good enough. But you are good enough, Kris. You're absolutely perfect to me. Why do you refuse to see that?"

"I- Liam- I just don't know." I blinked back tears; I didn't want him to see me cry.

"Kris. Listen to me. Just close your eyes and listen to me." I closed my eyes but was unable to face the fact that Liam was right, and he knew he was even if I wouldn't admit it. "Now I don't know everything going on in your life; frankly, I don't want to. You are your own person. And the sooner you realize that, the better things are going to get. I won't leave you Kris. I love you." 

By the time he got me home, he'd admitted every thing he'd ever felt about me. My heart was unable to sink, knowing that he would never give up on me, knowing he never had. When we got to the door he kissed my forehead sweetly and said "Smile Belle Chiquita. Our dance has only just begun."

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.04.2013

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