BookRix

Although this is a fiction, you wrote it as if it’s a true to life story. This is a good concept that not everything has a happy ending. It may be sad, but it’s the reality. Good job!

I liked it Meaghan!!!!

Excellent writing, with small errors, but as Gooduklady said they are small. Great story! Perhaps you could make the font bigger. Got my vote and I will post your book to the thread I have for my recommendations. You are an excellent writer.

Your story really got to me and I was surprised by the ending.You held my attention the whole way through and I felt the strain and sadness on everyone because the mother couldn't except the loss. You have my vote. Serena

The mark of a good writer is being able to make the reader care about the people in the story. You have succeeded very well here. I read the whole story with interest, and was naturally given a shock at the end, which was good. So you definitely are able to write, no doubt about it and I have given you my vote. Your sentences and emotions flow naturally and I am sure you have a good future in front of you. My only suggestion to improve would be the mechanics of the story. Go back and fix every spelling and grammatical mistake. There are lots in your story...words left out, the word "wondering" instead of "wandering" - you use the word "to" occasionally instead of "too" - and "then" instead of "than" --- however these are small things and are not relevant to your actual writing. Fixing them would polish your work and make it more professional. So go back and re-read every line, fix the errors, and you will have a story to be proud of. I am proud of you for writing it

I'm...speechless... That was a powerful piece... You definitely have my vote. I almost cried quite a few times. Wow...