BookRix

I have a book 2 and book 3 is coming out soon!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
im sorry but I LOVE IT!!!!!
nice new cover

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
im sorry but I LOVE IT!!!!!
nice new cover

Hmm, this was an interesting story. Good job.

I do, however, have some critiques:

There are several spelling and punctuation errors strewn throughout the entire book. It might be nice if you went through it yourself and fixed the mistakes.

Also, I like the introduction to the book. It's very unique and has an interestingly dull tone to it. Though I wouldn't recommend anyone to continue and write the rest of the story like the first paragraph, I think it's good.

Now the rest of the book is more of an outline than a story. You give little to no description of what's happening. It's all dialogue and 'he-said she-said' writing.

Slow down a bit. There's no harm in giving the reader more time to think and absorb the information you're giving. Don't be afraid to describe how your characters speak and respond to what others say.

Without reaction to the actions of the other characters, the story is boring.

And it is a general rule that every time a different character begins speaking, you enter in a new line. Here, I'll give you an example:

"
"Dumb wolf why did you take out kill." "For your informintion I was going after it first." "You are just a Zenon to my pack; go at once before I kill you."
"

As you can see, this is very confusing. I can't tell if it's two different people speaking or several. It's even hard to distinguish between the two different speakers.
I think it might be better if you tried something like this:

"
"You dumb wolf!" he growled. "Give us back our kill!"
"For your information, I was going after it first." I snarled, shifting tentatively on my nimble paws as I watched them circling me. They bared their teeth and snapped their jaws at my kill as I found it was all I could do to keep them from my hard earned meal.
"You are just a Zenon to my pack; go at once before I kill you." he barked, eager for me to give up and run.
"

Now this isn't very good, as I haven't taken the time to edit much, but you get the idea, right?
Slow it down! Take some time and give me the opportunity to invest my emotions into your characters.

Overall, it was rough, still ok. If you fix your spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure mistakes, this could be a very interesting book.

Good job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

well im so sorry, but i have other things to do to like u can do every thing prefect.

Luv it!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol its a page long not like it takes long to read...... maybe you put it out to the public on accident ? no idea

lol its a page long not like it takes long to read...... maybe you put it out to the public on accident ? no idea

lol its a page long not like it takes long to read...... maybe you put it out to the public on accident ? no idea

How can u read this book when it was out just for a minute, but i will fix my mistakes.