Hello. ︀How ︀are ︀you? ︀I ︀need ︀a ︀friend, ︀open ︀link ︀>>>>> www.date4fuq.com?_ebook-kevin-smith-the-typewriter
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
ITS SCARY AND FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME NOT TO MENTION GROSS
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Not a bad stori, oh no! I made a mistake! Ha Ha
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Hi Kaorou,
I love your opening. You voice is confident, like a true storyteller. I think your story might be a bit easier to read if you created some space between each paragraph.
Love the story idea, very Stephen Kingian.
Some editing tips below:
Pg 5: I'm not sure on your sentence meaning ...Although hidden behind the splintery main beam, Baxter already knew it wait. Also, I wonder if fold-out, is such an oft used term that it... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
the stop of the inspiration can't be that dreadfull in real life but in fiction, in this self-destroing story everitying is posibble. liked it and voted for it. maybe you do the same with my entry to the contest called "Zoon Poetikon". thanx for all and good luck!
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Really creepy, horrid story. Well done!
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I love it, the idea is so original
Good luck for this contest
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I'm glad you enjoyed it, but you may be disappointed in the other, totally different genre. Have a couple more horrors that I need to work on before posting here, but yours and comments like yours have given me the boost of confidence to get editing!
Thanks for the feedback everyone!
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
A great story with lots of description. This was a masterpiece of writing. Horror at it's best got to me. I recommend this to all./joeparente
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Truly grotesque. I mean that in a good way. You paint a vivid picture, well done. A couple spots where you used 'than' rather than 'then', and some typos. It might be a good idea to have someone else proofread for you as it's hard to catch one's own errors. We wouldn't want you mysteriously disappearing now, would we?
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I appreciate the feedback and actually did have it edited...apparently we'd both be 'Typed-out' of the game!
Will give it another look over.
Than and then - apparently as elusive to me as the meaning of life!
Kaorou
Hello. ︀How ︀are ︀you? ︀I ︀need ︀a ︀friend, ︀open ︀link ︀>>>>> www.date4fuq.com?kaorou_1259636719.1291759014