Dark Visions

User: jojobayby
Dark Visions
Jream Johnson is only 18 years old. she is just graduating high school and her life was always boring. However...ever since she was a child she was always seeing things happen before they actually do. Now that she is older she handles it better than she used to. That is until this man suddenly comes into her life.

His name is Derek Sanchez. He's been living alone in the dark for centuries looking for that one women who would end his lonelyness and bring joy to his life. She is Jream Johnson.

Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag

Good plot but it was just to much I mean married and pregnant when they just met seriously? other than that it was okay but I just think it would of been amazing if you just let the story work it self out a little just a little but good idea for the story though. :P

2 Kommentare

I agree


I totally agree

Wichtiger Beitrag

Is it too early for me to bash my head against a brick wall? Have you not read a published Novel before? You know, one without cyber tal (idk) as dialogue? With words that are existing and not made up? I liked your idea but... Seriously?

1 Kommentar

i agree,she had a good plot or story line,but i felt that she rushed in to it ...you should let the story flow and develop as you go along.

again a good idea but should have been organised better.

Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

you should really expand on the theme and show some more love scenees

1 Kommentar
Gelöschter User

I can't remember if i posted this or not, and if I did, why

Wichtiger Beitrag

why is it so short? you could have definately dragged it out more and gave us more details. just saying but it was really good

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