BookRix

█▬█ ︀█ ︀▀█▀ ︀18+ ︀>>>>> ＷＷＷ.ＩＮＴＩＭＣＯＮＴＡＣＴ.ＣＯＭ?_ebook-janice-k-whitney-the-answer-is-within

Great depth and insight, obviously a story that can be enlightiening to those who have suffered the same life. As far as the telling of the story, let me suggest that more showing, less telling. While the story has impact as a deeply moving issue that many face, I suggest more action scenes, pick out most critical times and make them alive , the arguing, and pleading, the promises to be broken.

Beginning on page 13, where you say you were at crossroads, I suggest not to put as much backstory up to that point. The very beginning would be more gripping if you started out with fight scene, then back into what has occured with lessor situations that include dialogue. His promises to change. Let him talk it out, and then make a scene where he seems to be doing okay, followed by one where again, he fails.

Obvously this is only my opinion. The story is one that needs to be told your telling comes across as genuine and heartfelt. Keep writing

Yet uplifting as your character was able to rise above the abuse and learn from it. You have definitely shared this story from your soul. With a little tightening and editing, this would be a good story to send to Glimmer Train.

Thank you for your bravery in writing this story. It had to be hard. Good job. Robynn

it is amazing book i liked it