BookRix

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I have to 'echo' Judy, with her assessment of this writing. With regards to the character POV's, I suggest you try breaking them into chapter sections, which are clearly defined, but don't do so many changes at once ad dont mix them up.

At the beginning I saw way too many 'I's'. It was off-putting. I think you either need to address that or make (I) into third person and stick with it.

I also think you should remove the photos. For one thing, they're not original, but also they distort your page count. You'll get more readers with less. (bit of psycho-analysis there).

Overall, think you've made a really good effort, but you need to concentrate on characters POV and get a grip on that. No point telling us whose POV it is, we have to know just be reading it.

Well done
Wendy

This book is amazing! a unique use of reincarnation and love. Good job J.J!
Keep up the good work!

thanks so much for that kind comment.
It is always good to hear what people think of my books. Don't worry I'll be writing more as soon as I can.

An interesting take on fan fiction, and a unique use of reincarnation. I like the story idea, but found the constant jumping from one character to another a bit disconcerting. The timeline of events was also a bit jarring and confusing. Having said that, I think you should continue this, maybe put it into actual prose form to make it flow better. A few spelling mistakes and such, all of it easy to fix. Generally, though, it had a good feel, was exciting, and very visual-oriented. Your photos were a cool touch, too. I hope you continue to work on it; you seem to have a natural feel for the fan-fic genre and this one has great potential - good job! (I'm a huge Buffy fan, btw!) 'D