Perhaps history repeats so is my story and love with all old and gold friends of Book rix..pl ahare me at ...ashokaatreya2o11@gmail.com
also at eternity11international.com
and facebook...alaelephantfoot....thanks.
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Dear friend'
The countdown in the 'Book Rix contest' is very close to all of us.I request all my friends to vote and support my novel'All the beautiful daughters of Mara'for this.I am also going to vote in favour of your book.
Ashok Aatreya
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Hi Ashoka,
I wish I could read your whole story but it will be impossible at the moment, in between studies, writing and family.
But I'll take a look at a bit and give you some feedback.
I think your have an interesting story line so far. Your prose do not appear repetitive or redundant early on. Your opening is full of backstory and I'm wondering if parts of that could be shown in action rather than exposition.
Pg 7: Probably... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
The golden rule... show, don't tell. You have some great dramatic potential here, but why just 'tell' people about Anand's trial and arrest? Wouldn't a more poignant place to start the book be, say, the moment that the Judge tells Anand he is guilty and will be going to jail? I'd like to be immersed into the scenes, but as it is, you are just telling us what happened to him before.
I like to think of it as babying my readers.... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I found your explanation of Indian society very interesting although convoluted. It might be better if all the information you presented prior to the real action and event starting with the guru meeting might be better presented as a newspaper article about your character as if he were reading it in jail. It would give more presence and immediacy in time to connect thought to event to action when the guru arrives. IT would... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I haven't read your book yet but I want to invite you to join Learning to Write 101 and a new group - Query Me This!. Both groups will give you insight as to how to improve your writing. The newer group is also a forum for all writers to present their writing for contests and just in general. It is all geared to learning how to promote a professional presentation. IF you have any groups you are running let me know and I will check them out.
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Wonderful and refreshing....Captivating too. Keep it up! Congrats
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I read the first 30 or so pages of your novel, All the Beautiful Daughters of Mara, and I found them to be well written, clearly written, and charmingly descriptive, but I wasn't captivated. While you follow perfectly every rule of grammar and description, the story flows in such a straight-forward manner that I felt I couldn't immerse myself in it. I think, that to make the novel more engrossing, you might want to try a... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen