When you said you were pulling this story together as a result of the forum, I thought it may have been a rough draft, full of errors. But, I have to say, this is really good writing.

Thank you for impressing me and making me realize that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. I mean that metaphorically. I actually do judge books by their covers. Bad, I know.

Well done and I'll look forward to reading more of your work soon.

Good luck in the contest.
Voted.
Wendyxx

Thank you very much, the issue has been corrected :) I am still new, I hope it doesn't break the contest rules by editing it mid contest..

This is a great premise to what could become a great novel. It was enjoyable and your action sequence was absolutely great. I saw something on page 6 that I felt did not flow well, but you do not have to change it if you don't want to ",unlike anything he had ever seen." Maybe if you add... "it was unlike anything he had ever seen." Or something of that sorts it would flow better. Other than that it is really great! I hope you decide to continue this.

Good luck in the contest.

Blessings
-< -@ Meli

I wrote that for a short story contest, i might write it into one of my other stories, if it comes I need an assassin.