You insert conventional proper English narrative into the story in order to break the gangstuh dialect...you might very well have the beginning of a story!
Thank you very much . The story will continue :)
Though I do understand that you were using slang in order to outline the environment that your characters are in, you should still try to correctly spell words such as "I'll" and capitalize when words should be capitalized, such as when you use someone's name or the word "I". That would make it a lot easier to read and understand the story.
Apart from that the story had a very dynamic beginning that drew me in. I wonder what... mehr anzeigen