The story was hard to follow, not at times, but for the most part. I still don't understand the reason behind the dialog format--is the speaker left vague for a reason? I even managed to forget who the main character was, because at first I figured the dialog in bold was his (as it matched the narration) but that wasn't always the case.

Still, there is a great tone to this piece. It's obvious you put some effort into making the narrator's voice authentic. The way I'd characterize a voice like this is it's a cool-before-real type person who thinks the way he'd speak, in trendy generalizations. Yet that's what works in this social atmosphere and it becomes a quality I admired. I don't get all the references but I appreciate their presence. They collectively portend that Hollywood (not to mention the porn industry) is its own microcosm of thought and culture, one that may seem very strange to the outsider.

Oh, and I especially enjoyed the short sentences detailing the actions and surmised thoughts of the limo driver, especially when he's reacting to the news that his fare is famous and about to be late.

you should try to get this on HBO or something,it is truly great!!

I felt like someone's journal fell flat on my lap. LOL. It was interesting reading through it. Too bad I didn't get to read this during the voting. Keep that muse on fire. Thanks for sharing... =-)

Outrageous!!! Have fun, Lucille

Interesting story of life...I like your style direct to the point, tell it as it is. I had added it to my favorites

Wow, I felt like a real insider!

I did get a little confused at some parts. So many people...I got a little lost. And a few typos, formatting things.

Feel like it needs to be a longer (no pun intended) story, more description of all the players.

Really like the story idea and want a bit more.

Hi Timmi,
This was a truly delightful read, and I enjoyed the surreal yet very real whirlwind craziness of it all! There are a few minor grammatical errors (none that can be caught by spell check...more of the "they're" vs "their" variety) that an editor or a second or third pair of eyes could catch. I think if you clean this up a bit and expand it--maybe turn it into a week--you could very well get this published. A few more things I'd like to see: way more fashion porn (loved the Gaultier reference), maybe a bit of food/wine porn (lunch at the Ivy, peut-etre?), and, well, maybe maybe a few more porn anecdotes (but nothing too shocking, most of us here are American, mind you), like multiple uses for duct tape, hair removal or lack thereof, "lighting" techniques, etc. It's Hollywood, so if you're going to go there, go all the way! ;) BTW, I have some constrictive feedback regarding RJ, but I'll save that for IM.
Good luck,
Incognito

Being new to LA (fifteen months here), I enjoyed all the namings. I'm jealous as hell of the underwater Jeff goodies in Hollywood Hills

Hi Tim,

I agree that this story is written in the same style as Ibiza, except less swearing, which is kinda good.

You tone was consistent and you idea was good.

Good luck!

Bek :)

Hollywood, pornos, stars and no stars...

interesting and entertaining blog!