On my original the various voices were denoted by Italics, bold Italic etc. Which made it very clear but when i pasted it to bookrix it disappeared and i have no idea how to sort it out

Thanks for your comments

The story itself is probably about as true to life as you can get. At the end I even mumbled to myself, "Yep, that's about right." Two faces, one real and one not. But I have to say, I really struggled without the punctuation, not only missing quotes, but a few missing periods as well. I've seen other writers do something of the same and it always bothered me with their work, too. It is a chance a writer takes that some will be turned off when they have to work too hard to keep track of speaker. But still, this was good and I still connected with it. All the best to you with it.
Denna
I thought you had asked me to look at a different story,but I didn't see it. If I misunderstood, please let me know and I'll come back. Take care.

This is soooooooo like the ugly side of life, it's absolutely chilling, how you've captured it.
Best to you,
Robin.

The meaning of the story is clear....u get to see these things in life....

Well thought....

I think your 'voices' are true and that makes our world pretty much rubble with a paint job...great piece ...Paula

Interesting piece. I think the formatting is clever, though maybe the way you format your dialogue could be a bit more clear. With the way your indents are set, in any bit of dialogue that stretches into two lines it's hard to tell if that's an entirely new bit of speech or a continuation of the last one.

Other than that I like this. A very interesting look at the situation.

Cynical, shocking, compassionate. I think it's great.