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gooduklady

Poetry is a wonderful way to express emotions that do not belong in a story. Perhaps this could be the start of a series that you can add to as the days or weeks go by.

As far as the content of the poem is concerned, trust me when I tell you that the intense feelings of rejection, hurt and pain are usually stronger when we are teenagers. As we grow, we learn better how to handle our emotions and channel them more productively.... mehr anzeigen

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stormstar1

It was about my Grandma Debbie. I trusted her... and now I find out that the one person who held me when I cried didn't care as much I thought she did. Yet again I am hurt by someone I trusted with my life.

Also, thank you everyone for the fast response. I really appreciate you. I love you all... and still trust that you will not do what she did.

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robbedbygreed

Very nice. I can feel the confused tone of the poem and the tears sliding down the speakers cheeks. I see her fingers shaking and hear her shaky breaths as she writes as well.

I only wished you'd put an extended metaphor or simile of sorts into the poem. It wouldn't hurt if you added a little more.

But I do love the simplicity of the piece.

Well done.
Good job!
Keep writing! :)

---RbG

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writingmum

This is the second I've read today, thus I've deduced that poetry is a means to an end; an enabler to heal all wounds, however big or small.

I hope writing this piece was therapeutic for you, jazz. And whoever it is you're referring to, perhaps they will understand how you felt when they took away their friendship.

Good work here
mum xxx

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angamonkey

heartfelt...I just wish you had elaborated a bit more, but apart from that, its a very emotional piece. The simplicity
works well.