The amount of detail is immense and beautiful. However, I was a little confused when you went into the transition between her childhood to adulthood. Maybe you can add something like "Ten years later..." or "~~~" in the middle so that the transition seems less awkward. All in all, a good read ^_^

Thank you so much for your comment! :) I'm not offended at all. And I'm sorry you couldn't get farther than the first five pages. While your comment on "either you have it or you don't" is rather harsh, I understand what you're saying.

As for the beginning and the switch to a different point of view, they are intentional. The first few paragraphs are set up from the point of view of a child's eyes, so words like "sticky and icky" and "scabby" for a cat's head are completely pertinent. As for it being a story from left field, I beg to differ. I, too, consider myself to be "A'IGHT" as a writer. :) I rarely will write something that has nothing to do with the story, especially not in such depth and as an opener to the book. The "left field" story is a huge factor in the book. Some people have been dissuaded by it, and I value your criticism because it shows me that I have much to work on in that area. (Of course, this is also the unfinished product. Much polishing is still in order. Because of demand, I posted the first five chapters before the entire book is complete. Shame on me, I know.)

If you can find the interest, I'd really appreciate you trying to get through the first chapter. You seem like a very determined writer and, while I may not agree with everything you've said, I value people with the determination and honesty you have. :) If you have a chance, come check out my forum, the Fantasy/Science-Fiction forum. I think you'd be a great asset to the other writers there.

So i would like to first say that i am new to this website, but to writing i consider myself (as i would say) A'IGHT. Let me first say that writing cant be forced. Either you got it or you don't. You cant make a cake with only the batter! If you don't have frosting then a cake just isn't a cake. I'm sorry to say that i didn't even make it passed the first five pages of your book... NOW... Do not be misled by the negativity! Positive reinforcement is the way to LEARNING! Lets start with your intro, your thesis. You wanna grab the readers attention, not push them to putting in a bookmark and never returning to it again! Describing details is very important for a good read, but when and where you do the describing is what i must stress here... You need Description at the high points of the story, for example. i.e. (right before the climax of the paragraph, or a big event, a moment that captured the Character, a spiritual enlightment, or simply memories of appeal that need an extra boost so the reader really grasps the situation at hand. Going on in detail about something such as how "sticky and icky" the Ozone is. Or how "scabby" miss kitty's head is, distracts the reader from what your book is titled... CALYPSO... I see what approach you were seeking, but you must remember the basics of Writing and paragraph structure. Your thesis can be a little off topic and still have that Topic Sentence that made me nibble the worm, so I AM coming back, and this time i will nibble the hook as well. You want to be careful and not direct the reader to a left field story. Keep it simple, stick with the basics, and put and intricate Detail on the Main points of the story. Basic format says either hook them right away with that first sentence, or... start off slow, but at the end of your thesis(at the last sentence of your intro.) Blow them away away with the grabber sentence, leading you directly, dramatically, and smoothly into your first official paragraph. I think you have great potential! If i didn't i would not be discussing these matters. I'm not yet an Official/ Famous writer, but its been my dream to write since i was 4yrs. old. This is the first thing i have tried to use to pursue my Dreams (besides getting a poem put in a school Newspaper). and since i don't have a complete book just yet, i figure better to chat meet new people and do all i can to help in the process. I mean no disrespect, nor try to put myself on some pedestal, God knows i have my own problems. But i wanna make a difference with my writing, i feel my time to Ascend is coming and i want to be a Phenomenal Writer, and have my DREAM... Writing things of Meaning to me, and inspiring you, the Reader.

That was amazing! I can't wait to read the rest, and/or more of your work!

No, it's definitely not the end. :) Be glad I didn't leave it on Chapter 6... There is a lot more, but I want to use this as a teaser for when the actual book comes out in print. :)

im so angry!! i really love this book and i know this isnt just how it ends!! i want to read the rest really badly!! how can i read the whole book, if there is more to it.

I'm like a major fan of aliens and creatures. When I came across this book i was like I so have to read this book! Its a really great book, but I hope that wasn't the end. Please inform me if you make any updates on the book.I really really love it.

Please write more your an amazing story teller but you left us hanging please hurry

omg! i want more!....no i need more! please update soon or i might explode >_

This book is really good. I love the front cover. Also I love the story. I think you should really get this published!