anddd dontt worry about the typos until it's done okay !

- Yesss Add Moreeeeee
iLovee iT add more to thee Dreamer too !

you should definitely write more i love it:)

i love the story u should right more of it

I was just repeating the summary to many times i got confused while i was reading it so completely forget my first message minus the thumbs up part.

Love the book!

If he is her father's son doesn't it mean that they are related by blood/half-siblings. I'm confused. But besides that it is amazing. *double thumbs up*

LOVE IT!!!

Thanks for the comment and I'll try to fix those mistakes for you. As for the whole 'She' thing, sorry it's a bad habbit that I reallly have to break. I hope you liked it though, despite those errors. :D
*~Jess~*

I'm just an older gal, so young adult books don't usually get me too excited. I love the fact that you are so enthusiastic and you seem to be off to a good start with this new story. Just a couple of comments, OK? Why do you capitalize "She" all the way through? It is a little distracting for the reader, so please change it to "she" -- there are a couple of typos and a few commas in the wrong place, but apart from that, you are starting off well. Remember this: always read what you have written out loud. You will see where the commas (or the pauses) have to be placed, and your sentences will flow better. Here is an example of where a comma should be, and how the sentence should look, taken from your first page: "This must be a mistake," she muttered as she refreshed the page again, yet still no email appeared.

Hope this helps. The stuff I am critiquing is minor and you can fix it easily. Just keep us interested in your story - make it different from everyone else's - and we will keep reading.