1st thing spelling. Remember what I told you about microsoft word? You don't have to save it on there if you don't want family or stuff to read your stories but you can type on it than put it on here and not save it ;) easy way to get rid of fragments, mispelled words, and slightly off grammer.
2nd Details! This is really important! If you want the reader to understand fully what's going on do this! Like the escape is a... mehr anzeigen
1st thing spelling. Remember what I told you about microsoft word? You don't have to save it on there if you don't want family or stuff to read your stories but you can type on it than put it on here and not save it ;) easy way to get rid of fragments, mispelled words, and slightly off grammer.
2nd Details! This is really important! If you want the reader to understand fully what's going on do this! Like the escape is a perfect place to put so many details. Smells, sounds, emotions, they can all be brought out don't be afraid! Sometimes I think for young writers better to be more verbose(wordy) than not have enough.
3rd Don't be afraid to do flashbacks! Introduce how they met and everything. It would deepen your story and the connection between the two.
I liked it, I'm still sorta confused about some stuff though, like how did they become werewolves? Why is the government controlling this? Do other people know?
It's a very good start and I can't wait to see how you develop it!
