"My sparkling jewelry shook like leaves on a nervous tree, even more nervous than I"

As an extension of yourself, It dramatized the fear even more. I love it!

We all know how important the opening is and if one doesn't want to read more this after something like this, they shouldn't read at all.

Very well Done! All my best!

Thanks for inviting me to stop by. I found it humorous - call me a sadist. "Just dance like no one's watching... I felt a thousand faceless eyes focus on me." Now THAT's delicious irony.

Now - about 'that.' Early on in the story you're using some fussy language when immediacy would be more effective. 'That' as subordinating conjunctive makes the following sentence convoluted and like an unnecessary pause in the adrenaline-induced internal action:

Instead of "I reached up to feel THAT my long, brown hair HAD BEEN pinned UP IN a tightly braided bun, my body adorned...and my face..." (whew!)

Maybe something more like "The tightly braided bun tugged at my scalp. I nervously fiddled with it - everything still in place. My sparkling jewelry shook like leaves on the nervous tree that was me. Makeup? It... And the gown - oh, it was so..."

Just remember that nervousness has a pace. Getting the reader to feel it by thinking the dancer's thoughts at her nervous thought cadence - with her sweating upper lip... it will prime them for the resolution - desiring it.

I appreciated the ambivalence of the last line. We're left with the mystery of the dance, itself. Good or bad? Glorious or disastrous? Planned or unplanned? Vindicating or condemning?

So - there ya go - my 2cents.

A well written story.
I used to watch 'So You Think You Can Dance.' One of the guys forgot his routine and started doing some strange things. Hopefully it ends better for your MC.

I love the description of the fear. The detail really puts you into the story.

I just noticed this. I believe you spelled "Unknown" wrong in the title (it reads, "Unkown). Not a big deal - a quick fix, lol!

Stage Fright! Yes I can remember that in my younger days. While I cannot dance, sing, or entertain, I do a lot of public speaking today. But I can remember the first time I had to teach a classroom full of students how nervous that made me.

You painted a great picture of a nervous young dancer all the way to the last moment before she went on stage.

K.D.,

This is great! You have written a very beautiful and interesting story about fear. I remember the days of auditions and performances singing in front of small and large crowds.

Exceptional writing!

Your writing was so perfect and the imagery you created was so intense that you took me right back to my childhood days, standing just off the stage waiting for my turn to go out there. Your descriptions were dead-on and perfect! Luckily, I never had a solo, so there was always another to lean on:)

Great job!

I love this story. I was right there with you. Very well written.

You captured the feeling of stage fright perfectly. It was almost poetic they may you all the emotions and action come together. I love the it ends so simplistically.