omg........ i loved the book, i really really wish it had the whole thing... like what happens to her now....... but really, the reason i read books online is im not allowed to buy books and i love books about abuse, they make me cry!!!!!!!!!! and my library doesnt have them....... I WANT TO READ MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i read the book once and want to read it again, is not it enough to prove, this is a good story. Thanks, Farhan

I thought this was a good read and accurate of the situation. x

very intresting book sorry if i realized late but it is a very nice work of art.

A very different style and approach. I enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing.

You have a different style in writing. I like the way you use the "you and me" perspective. You've got my vote!
Best Regards

Hey Bek,

Nice job. I enjoyed the different perspectives, particularly how they were labeled ("me", "you"). I always respect a story that asks energy from its readers, that asks intelligence and ability to interpret. Plus, the use of "me" and "you" makes such a personal, intimate discussion all the more.

I also enjoyed the little bits of description you used for your characters. They weren't much, just a detail here or there, and I like how you don't overwhelm the audience with adjectives describing their personality and yet it is still very clear what type of character they are.

As far as suggestions go, I just noticed a few punctuation issues (particularly commas and their absence). Also, I thought that in the first POV section that Kendra and Martine weren't as professional as I'd expect CPS workers would be. How they plug their nose at the smell and are "wide-eyed" when the mother curses. They must see all kinds of traumatic and depressing situations where, unfortunately, that wasn't the worst.

Great job!

Thanks Gskhairah,

Silly me, learning new things all the time. I just realised yesterday that I was spelling another word incorrectly too! Lol...

i found this to be a most unusual story on many grounds. one, the changing narrative voice is challenging, if a little disorienting but once you get the hang of it, it is quite well done. the story itself though not unusual is told in a novel manner. your language is fine too but for two things that i found. in the beginning you use the word pervaded for smell; wouldn't permeated be better? and then you use wretch twice for throwing up; the word is retch minus the 'w'. have a look. other than this, i give you my vote for a very differently told story.

Hi Rebekah - This is a well told story. You give the answer to why children run away, it is just too hard to help some of them. I would shorten the sections on everyone besides the girl b/c it takes away from how important she is and since there is little anyone else can do to help her, it would be appropriate for them play a smaller part. Simone