You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Write drunk and edit sober

Thanks for adding my book 'Complicated love' to your favourites <3

A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night.

"I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter.

"I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician.

"Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise."

The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"

And I told you, I told you
How I was such a sad case
You said you could save me
I'm doing the saving
Went to sleep with superhero
And he woke up a villain
Killing and killing my love
Oh, what happened?
Oh, no, what happened
You got me fighting
Like wonder woman, woman

Hey there!! I hope you would be able to check out my books if possible <3 Negative and Positive feedback is most appreciated! My books are still in progress.. So I was hoping if you'll be able to check it out ^.^ It would be awesomre if you did XD

http://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-the-twister-complicated-love/
http://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-the-twister-love-letter-101/

So I hope you would be able to check it out <3 Thanks

This guy walks into a bar and goes up to a man sitting at the bar.
He says, ''I just fucked your mother and I did it in your bed and I fucked her doggie style and I even made her give me a blowjob. What do you think about that?''
The guy says, ''Shut up Dad, you're drunk again."

Two guys get pulled over while drinking and driving.

The driver tells his friend, "Peel the labels off these beer bottles, and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now, shove all of the bottles under the front seat. Just let me do all the talking."

The cop walks up and shines his flashlight into the car. "Have you been drinking?" he asks.

"No, sir," the drunk answers. "We haven't had a thing to drink tonight."

"Then what on earth are those beer labels doing on your foreheads?"

"We're both alcoholics," says the drunk. "We're on the patch."

Thanks so much for adding 'Hold Me' and 'Violet Desires' to your favourites xx

Hi! Thanks for adding my book, "Quiescence" to ur fave. :)