it was funny and sad at the same time

This story is so cute, but saddening at the same time, as I can sense what will happen. You've come up with a perfect story. Yes, it's perfect :)

That said, I do have some critiques:

Ok, so I love the first sentence. However, what does "window feet first" mean? Did you mean something like "...he was climbing out of my bedroom window, feet first,...etc."? Is that what you mean? otherwise, I have no idea with a "window feet first" is :P

Ok, second sentence... how can the girl's hand be glued to the light switch(metaphorically) and than "blink"? Confusion!

Also, when I start reading, I feel no emotion behind the characters, as their speech and the way you describe their speech is a bit bland. Spice it up a bit, because I really like this story. Ah, I just want to feel the emotion of the characters!

With that said, I did warm up to the characters by the end of the first chapter. However, I really want to know the characters right off the bat, though that's only my opinion.

So, and impressive first chapter. Love it!

It's getting late, and if I had more time, I'd keep reading.

But bravo! Ah, this is very good. Very good indeed :)

Amazing job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

Oh, what a beautiful, captivating little story. You're a good storyteller. I do have to say that although I loved your ending, I would love to see her with Jack after losing her weight. That's my romance side talking :).

Well done.

Astounding - written with a true heart and mind, you've managed to bring out the essence of humanly feeling you strove to write.

I saw this almost like a warped version of Lady and the Tramp (without the animals and all), and feel this has true potential.

I'm glad I read this. 8D

This is brilliant! I loved the dynamic between the two characters and the ending was priceless. This story deserves more reads.
-Angely

Overall, this was really well written. You have a remarkable way of writing than ensures your readers don't get bored or skip ahead. I did notice a couple of spelling errors and hiccups that weren't picked up in editing (like "shimming" and "patently obvious") so you may want to go over it one more time. I also picked up on a couple of switches been past and present tense, which can sometimes disrupt the flow of the story.

If I have one criticism of the story itself, it's that the ending kind of felt... Unresolved. Jack came into her life and left, without leaving much of a mark at all. I would have liked to see her at peace with herself and her mother at the end of it all, but that's just me.

I think you're definitely going to blow the competition out of the water with this entry. First place for sure :)
(Much better than my "fluff" I think, haha).

your book is so good, having a cover that pops out will help more people notice it!

i really really loved this. you have such a unique writing voice! there is nothing bad that i can say about this story. the only thing that i can suggest is that you put the main characters age in there somewhere... it works without it, but i think a lot of readers will be curious about her age. maybe when she is arguing with her mom, you could have her mom say something like "you're _____ years old and still unable to take care of yourself"...

love love love it!