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joeparente

A little difficult to read due to the lack of commas. The use of these help the flow of the story and help define the meaning of each sentence.
You have a good start to your story. Keep up the good work./joeparente

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Shoogar

oh my gosh this book is amazing!

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mistone

haha thanks. Ill try and keep everyone updated on it when I add more. Friend Request me and Ill keep you in the loop.

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Shoogar

oh my gosh! keep writing! i absolutely love<3 it!!!

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mistone

Thank you. It means a lot. I am writing more. Be ready to check back in a week to read some more.

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k123456789.2

please write more its really good :))

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mistone

Yupp...Not sure where I'm going with it though.

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amberlamps

work in progress?