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Really good read, just added it to my favourites.
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Really good read, just added it to my favourites.
This appears to me to be a short story. I found it to be well written, fluid and quite gripping. I read the comments before I read your piece, and I have to disagree with many of them. I liked your dialogue and I liked the pace. I am impressed.
a very unexpected little slice of life. quite fun to read. your style is fluid & polished.
Thanks for the comments Kingfisher. You're right of course: no fiction there! I haven't thought about the girl's dialogue not being right but I'll have another look at it. Thanks for pointing it out.
What a twist. Gosh, my jaw slackened when I read what she encountered. LOL. The 'What if' will always remain in our heart and mind when we chose a different path. Thanks for sharing. Gave you a vote.
Thank you for participating in our short
story writing contest "Travel Stories".
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Thanks for the comments and the vote. It certainly was a weird experience! Re my comments on your story: It did occur to me that that might have been your purpose in putting in the modern terms: to keep us guessing. Your use of language generally is more formal though, and... mehr anzeigen
Thanks for the comments and the vote. It certainly was a weird experience! Re my comments on your story: It did occur to me that that might have been your purpose in putting in the modern terms: to keep us guessing. Your use of language generally is more formal though, and somehow to me the phrases seemed out of character with your style. It's clearly a deliberate choice and if the story were to continue it would all fit into place.. Very interesting, and I'd like to read more about this girl and what happens to her.