A little lighter than the other I'm glad to see...

Thank you, Meli...that is really sweet of you. We may have to leave the "cambodian love child" part out of it. LOL!

Sounds like M&M's lol. I love it!!! Meli is super cool and I don't say that just because it's my name ;)

I actually mean you have written something really awesome. I like how it flows and it's barely 10 pages long. I think you have to show it, it's definite teen drama/comedy waiting to be read. I am waiting for more! You have my full support. I am still reading your current projects but I can tell you are a great writer.

I do think that some tenses might be off here and there, like for example: Page 6: "She has been here three weeks..." It would be better, "She 'had' been here three weeks", since you follow Merlin's actions in a past tense.

All in all I'm loving it!! Tell me when you update :D

Blessings,

Meli

Really good.

I definitely caught Merlin's personality in just that short piece and Meli was left mysterious and intriguing. Rightly so.

I loved the pencil part. lol

One criticism: you did a bit of head hopping on page two. You took the teacher's POV in one paragraph.

This would make a nice little script for the contest, if you had the mind to convert it.

Hope you continue the story. I will look forward to reading it.

Brilliant title BTW. lol

Wendy (the mother-in-law)

Dedicated to the adopted cambodian (almost) love child of Wendy....You'd have to be there to know what I'm talking about.