I liked it~!! :) I'm not really an 'alien' fan, but~ I have a thing for assassins and spies~!! :7 ♥♥♥ I know it's a short story, but I'd recommend adding more detail, describe the scenes instead of just a statement~!! I'm an adjective lover, you have the brush, so paint me a picture I can see in a light, vivid enough I could picture it being blind~!! (*^v^*)/ ♥♥♥

This is the second book on this site I have read it love it❤

I like the quote at the beginning. I also like the fact that even though mark seems cold and all that in the end he still has a heart. i really don't know how to talk like a writer so i'll just say that i really like your story :)) sorry if tht sounds shallow :P

Good start for a well written story. The suspense has been built and the knot get tightened. All the best!

Just a few quick fixes on the first two pages:

"...we are the most evil creature that inhabits the planet," a tall, fat man... [no need to capitalize "a" and a comma is needed between adjectives].

...gathered around the now-dead man. Mark doesn't notice - he is already halfway to the ground floor of the skyscraper where the had had been preaching. ["around" makes more visual sense than "at," but it's up to you if you want to keep it the way you had it. I replaced the awkward "has already gotten to" with a condensed version that flows a little more smoothly. I also made that last change because the word "preoccupied" is an adjective that means "distracted." Actually, you don't even need to mention that he was occupying the skyscraper, since his presence and actions there make that obvious.]

"He's dead. I'm headed back to base," he says into... [The comma between phrases makes that a run-on sentence because you have two independent statements. Also, "he" shouldn't be capitalized.]

Authorities have begun to show up at the site of the murder. This causes Mark to pause when he exits the building. [You already used "skyscraper" in the previous paragraph; changing it to a synonym just helps the action to continue flowing.]

...Hailing a cab takes less than a minute. He is soon heading toward upstate New York as they drive through the traffic. [Saying a person "finds" him- or herself doing something implies the event was unexpected on some level. I really like the visual of this paragraph, and how it gave momentum to the character's behavior.]

Well, that's it. Like I said, they're quick fixes and not a big deal at all. As you go through the story, though, look for any other spots where you capitalized the word following a comma within a quote, unless it's the person's name.

By the way, the fact that you introduce the unexpected context of space aliens farther in works as a fabulous catalyst to impel the reader to keep going. Very clever!

You have the beginning of a good story here. However, I would strongly urge you to study some books or online essays about grammar rules. The most glaring problem I noticed immediately was the way you handle dialogue. When a person says something, and the quoted words are followed by a he-said type of qualifier, you don't use a period inside the quotation. Here's an example:

Incorrect: "I just saw a crazy guy with a garbage on his head." Jane told her friend.

Correct: "I just saw a crazy guy with a garbage bag on his head," Jane told her friend.

Take a look at any professionally published novel, and you'll see what I mean.

Next, if you use italics to indicate a person's thoughts, either don't italicize the "he thought" part, or eliminate it altogether - the fact that the words are in italics already indicate that they're the person's thoughts. Here's an example:

Method One: Jack walked back into the bar and looked around. [begin italics] Aw, heck. The creep is still over there. Guess I'll have to wait. [end italics] He shook his head and went outside again.

Method Two: Jack walked back into the bar and looked around. [begin italics] Aw heck, [end italics] he thought. [begin italics] The creep is still over there. Guess I'll have to wait. [end italics]

Sorry about the whole bracketed thing - these message boxes don't allow us to actually use italics or bold. Anyway, those are a couple of observations that I wanted to make to help you polish your story. There are a few other issues, but I think that as you go through the editing process, you'll see what needs work and what is fine the way it is.

Hope that helps - keep going (I love sci-fi, lol)!

Not bad, the flow is a tad bit choppy sometimes but I love the action. Try to go over tenses and how one idea or scene feeds into the next one.
You did a pretty good job on the introduction, the action already started which is great. I hate when action drags on.
The last sentences of Mark's thoughts before he sleeps seem a bit awkward with how they're structured.
Try rephrasing it a little bit...ex: How can we justify killing someone just for gaining a following after preaching what they believe? Mark rolled over and fell into a restless sleep
That's just one quick idea...what you decide to do with it is up to you.
Over all a good job here.