loved it

really good book

Thanks for the giggles. I voted for you.
Augustus.

Dis un shoo iz a winah...heehaw.
Voted

You drew me right in...I could almost smell them. Great job, worthy of an enormous vote.

Good luck in the contest
Wendy xxx

The use of a different tone of language is a nice style of writing. It reveals creativity, and it helps to stay away from spelling / grammatical error. However, I agree with the other comments to tone it down a little bit. But I did enjoy the humor of this story. Good luck!

I am laughing my 'whiskers' off...them there singed one those be...hahahahaha

You kept in character all through and it's harder to write wrong when you know right....

I enjoyed it, but like John, I also struggled keeping up with the slang and wondered about it being toned down a bit. Saying that, I'm a Brit, so it would be hard for me.

I know there are stories written like this in the first person but I've never tried it myself. I think you're very clever for doing it.

If you were to change the POV, and write it in the third person, then you could contain the excessive slang usage within the dialogue and have no need to spell 'when' like 'wen'.

Saying that, this is good as it is too, I just wanted to mention the options from a bystander's point of view..

I don't know why you were shy about putting this up, it could be a good contender for the top ten.

Don't be shy. Keep writing.

Good luck in the contest.
Wendy

I've read this style of writing before and it's always very entertaining. You've done an excellent job, Leslie. Keep up the good work. Onward to the Rapture.
Michael.