thanks for the advise i have been waiting for someone to tell me something like this and i will go back a fix the spelling and things thanks so much for you comment

Write* (instead of right)
Get* (instead of keep)
Your* (instead of you)

I'm on my ipod and it sucks to type on here...-_-
For some reason it won't let me edit my comment either...

It's really good so far! I have a few suggestions though. First off I think you should use some more imagery instead of the (for example) " There was something in the kitchen..." " I went to the kitchen..." " the thing in the kitchen was..." ( I know you didn't right that exactly, it was just an example.) Instead try to make it flow and be vivid so that the reader doesn't keep bored. A.K.A. You don't want you sentence structure to get predictable. You've done a pretty good job so far, just keep on writing and you'll get better and better!

~Cheyenne(:

thank you so much and so are you i loved your book you are and amazing writer as well

I think you will and are going to become a fantastic writer this is really good :}

thank you so much :) and i will spread the word about your book to

Nice start Leahcountryman! Keep writing! P.S I'll spread the news!