Thanks guys.
And thanks also Veronica, but with this new format, I can't do any editing. These errors are due to my not paying full attention in school....also because my first two languages weren't English...so I'm still struggling....lol

i loved the description of the tree and the blooming flower garlands on her head.
short and sweet, but also a little shocking!
well done!

there were a few mistakes on the first page:

"my weary night's journey besides a" should just be "beside a"

"it had shut her blossom down for the day" has to be changed to "she had shut her blossom" or "it had shut it's blossom"

"and notice a young woman" has to be changed to "and noticed a young woman" to keep the tenses the same because you just said "i peered" instead of "i peer"

"flew circles above her" should maybe be "flew in circles"

second page

"which she told in a melodious whisper" should be either "she said in a" or "she told me in a"

also, i'm not sure who Jason is, does he have to do with the story of the sailors and Lorelei?

First off, I love your cover.
I almost sensed that this was a real dream as I read it--the atmosphere you created, and the striking images. Your ending was perfect, too. I really felt the darkness in that first light. Nice, nice job.

Haunting and captivating. Excellently written, I could see the entire scene in my minds eye, a credit to your skills of description. Well done Laz :)