Easy to read, lovely background shade of blue to match the ocean....wonderful story seen from the viewpoint of the ship. All in all another gem from Laz.

This is an interesting point of view. I like the imagery of the ship as a bride, and the passengers as wedding guests.

Of course I am no grammarian, but on page 7 you might try, "Couples holding each other in their final embrace." Using embraced twice is redundant.

Overall very well written.

Please follow this link and provide me with a score. http://www.bookrix.com/_group-en-learning-to-write-better-101

And you never disappoint. Awesome point of view! You've added yet another dimension to an already multi-dimensional account. Loved it even as it gave me chills!

I WANTED mention the font (I was going blind reading the great story, lol), but I said, "No...it's okay:)"

These were the comments left to date.

felixthecat has saved "THE BRIDE A Titanic Story" to his/her favorites
On May 6th 2012
felixthecat commented at May 6th 2012
The Bride
Yes, the personification of the mighty ship as a doomed bride was excellent. Good job again, Laz!
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tanya77 has saved "THE BRIDE A Titanic Story" to his/her favorites
On May 5th 2012
tanya77 commented at May 5th 2012
What a marvellous story. Was expecting a woman but the twist you gave it is really very creative. Why don't you use the advanced option to post your books? That's only copy and paste and you can edit any time you need to. Pity you didn't enter the contest.
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rgabel has saved "THE BRIDE A Titanic Story" to his/her favorites
On May 5th 2012
rgabel commented at May 5th 2012
Unique View
Review - This analogy was a mirror showing both sides of the mask of tragedy. A very unique take and very eloquent.

Very different and I think worthy of Glimmer Train. You should enter it. Amazing job. Robynn
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dreamthief commented at May 5th 2012
Brillant voice!
Such elegance spoken. It really brings you into the moment. Thanks!
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wells12 commented at May 5th 2012
The Bride A Titanic Story
This subject has been done and done again but you came from a whole new place. Nice.
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chloeknox18 has saved "THE BRIDE A Titanic Story" to his/her favorites
On May 4th 2012
paulashene commented at May 4th 2012
An eerie rendition of
a tragic account.

I've always loved your overall approach to your books. The covers you do, for not only yourself - all entice, but even more set the specific melieu and as those curtains open - the color of the page sets the backdrop and then the font is chosen so the story is told by the characters and they glide, or trip, or shatter across the boards.

I am always blown away whenever you give me the pleasure of reading - "A story by Lazarus"

You need to get your stories into print - more of an audience would answer the call on your premieres.

You've been blessed with an artist's soul, one I would envy but cannot because you captured me with your first lines, in your first book revealed.
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paulashene has saved "THE BRIDE A Titanic Story" to his/her favorites
On May 4th 2012
lazarus67 commented at May 4th 2012
After I posted it...I saw that problem with the font. As with some of my latest stories...I cannot edit it any longer as we were able to in the past. Sorry. It can be done by the admins, but I already bugged them a few times about making the adjustments.
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gooduklady commented at May 4th 2012
A new and different "take" on the Titanic disaster, from the viewpoint of the ship itself. I really enjoyed this aspect - so unique and imaginative. You said it all in a few pages and we could FEEL the heartbreak of the ship's soul as she met her groom in the murky depths of the ocean. Poor gal -- what was to be a glorious start to her new life was vanquished when she died on her wedding night!

One small "hiccup". For me, your font was difficult to read. I appreciate the attempt to make it look old-fashioned, as though written on a typewriter, but the words were not clear to me and I had to really peer hard to make out what was written.

Another goody from Laz. Pity you waited so long...I would have liked to have seen this in the contest
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