This is amazing! I never read this kind of thing but thought I would give it a go because it's a short story and was immediately captivated! At one point I was actually quite fidgity in my chair because of the atmosphere you had created, like I was in the room worrying with them. Seriously good writing.
Fantastic. A truly chilling and poignant tale.
Thank you so kindly! :o)
I totally loved this!! The imagery you continue to create with each new story just keeps getting better and better. An amazing piece all should read. Fantastic work! All my best!
Thanks so much, Bull! Hehehe--is your last name Pen? Oh yeah, I do know a wee tad about baseball! My dad was a voracious watcher of 'the boys of summer', I have 4 brothers and the high school baseball coach lived down my little country road when I was growing up.
And it (this... mehr anzeigen
Your story brought to mind the recent headlines where those young women were found after they just vanished. Great writing good luck in the contest
Thank you so very much!
I like the changes L. Avery. I think you did a great job.
Thanks, Preston! I thought about putting in the 'call the police sooner' aspect but I stopped and really thought about if it was ME - would I call the police ASAP? Or would I question the idea of 'is this a real emergency or an emergency in my mind'? So, instead I built in that... mehr anzeigen
Yep... saw that. I think it was definitely the right call.
Held my breath through the whole thing.
Thank you, Ken! It was an entry in the Biggest Fear contest last year and it truly is ONE of my biggest fears. I think parents will 'feel' it more than kids - but maybe if kids read it they'd think twice before they decide to 'not call' because it takes away from the fun they're... mehr anzeigen
I have been through this fear with my son. Thank God, he never really vanished. He did however put me through this kind of worry on many occasions.
Some not too long ago. At 32 he can still do it to me. I was so relieved to find out he had been thrown into jail.
What an awful... mehr anzeigen
True...it's the NOT knowing that is the shadow behind our biggest fears when it comes to our children. (And P.S., my parents had the same issue with my siblings on many occasions. I learned from their example as to what NOT to do!)
Poignant, well-written, well-passed--I've got nothing to say to this but wow.
Thank you so very kindly. Your words make me feel confident about entering the contest! Again, thank you!
Hmmm. That's some powerful stuff there. It was bad enough that they had to wait through an excruciatingly long night, only to find out that the...uh...good news, would only prolong their ordeal.
Im not a parent but I could swear I was one reading this...left me wanting to know more!!!
Oh! I love the suspense of this story. Well read, written, scripted and more. You placed me inside the dread, as if I was missing my child with such ease and craftsmanship. Well done!!
Thank you so kindly! It's truly one of my greatest fears as a parent. Writing down your worries is supposed to help 'release the worry'. Hmmm, not so sure about that - when my 16 year old us out - I'm always nervous!
Again thanks.
I really really enjoyed it. I can only imagine how that feels, but you definitely paint a vivid picture of it.