when is the book going to be finished it is so interesting

when is the book going to be finished it is so interesting

update soon luv it

i updated! comment and tell me what you think i love feedback and its let me know when if you guys like it or not so read on and let me know you think

~ Krystal :)

Thanks for fixing the colour. That's so much better.

I can tell you are a first time writer because of your structure and confused punctuation, but saying that, I think you a have a good strong voice and if you work at it and develop the art, you could get even stronger.

My suggestion would be that you enjoy what you're doing and keep writing, but also keep learning all the time by noting comments from other writers and reading other people's work.

Best of luck to you.
Wendy xxx

i don't want to sell the book i just wanna write a story for the first time and see how it goes

thanks for all the feedback its really helpful and for those who said the color needs to be change i just change it so now you could read with no problem also i will update within this week

~Krystal

I noticed that you develop most of your story through dialog. I find it difficult to comment because I think a lot depends on what you are going to do with this story.

If your goal is just to write, and have a following on BookRix I think you are doing well with that. But if you want to eventually sell this book, it needs a little work. Competition is stiff out there and the better presented and written your book is, the better chance it has.

You need to develop a little more story line. I realize these are kids who are just getting through school, but you need more tension.

Phone conversations need to go with the flow of the dialog. I know it's hard as you want your reader to hear the other person on the line. So....you could put it into texting maybe.

Sentence structure, spelling, punctuation and proper capitalization is very important for a smooth read. This helps the reader to get engaged with the story.

Second chapter, first line: Seeing the shocked look on my face she immediately burst into tears........
This is one way to tighten up your writing.

I really liked some of your word combos, for instance, when your character noted she had to go into 'friend mode'. That was fresh and definitely said all it needed to without excess words.

Overall this is an interesting read, I hear your voice coming through. I also think if you want to use rough language, (I know that is more realistic) you may want to introduce it slowly and maybe pare it down a little.

Robynn

I agree with other people about the color. It would be nice to change it. I didn't read all of it, I'm sort of short on time, I'll try to come back and read it later. I really like your perspective. I bet that a lot of people can relate to it. Tip: you started out in third person, and then switched into first. You may want to take a moment to fix that. ;D Keep writing!

But I have to agree with Wendy about the color, it's a little distracting.

Jace