I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to find this exceptionally well written and researched story, Judy. Thank you for the nudge. I agree with Wendy that making the beginning a little more horrific will draw us in... and it has. I am amazed at the quality of writing and the attention to detail you have put in this piece. In fact, I am totally envious and have decided to drown myself in a bucket of ice cream and never write again. You are way too talented to remain undiscovered. Bravo.

Hooray! Thank you Mary and Al! I feel very encouraged now, and will finish it so I can post it in its entirety! Thank you, thank you, thank you both! "D

Full of atmosphere, you capture the loneliness and solitude of the monks lives so well, we can almost be there with them.

This is awesome, Judy! I loved it! I only hope that there is more to come...

As usual, you had excellent, helpful suggestions, and I thank you. I'm so happy that you like this, and of course you're right - I was quite hesitant at the outset, not sure, first of all, about how to "get serious" (I had to tell my inner laugh-track to go take a hike every so often); and as you so astutely noted, wasn't confident about how the opening of the story, and I felt it was too abrupt. You've given me some great ideas on how to fix that, and I'll be working on it today.

It means the world to me that you've taken time to go over it and give me pointers. As the story grows I will, indeed, let you know about the additions so you can look at it when you have some time.

Again, thank you so much, Wendy - you've given me not only wonderful suggestions, but the boost I needed to keep this going. You're the best.
Love,
Judy OOO (BIG hugs!)

I am so happy you've done this. And to have done it so well. Good grief, woman where have you been? It's a wonderfully written sample of a book, which I'm sure will be a very exciting read on completion.

Obviously this is a tester for you, and one for your readers, to see if you're going to pick up some good vibes. Well, pick them up from me. There are plenty to be had.

Welcome to my world with regards to your intro. It's classic that it doesn't stand in such good stead as the rest of it. I do this all the time. It is a mental burden.

My theory is, that we are hesitant at the beginning of a story. Hesitant about how we can launch our fabulous premise of a story at the start of a blank piece of paper. So focused are we on that one crucial matter that we over-think it. As in my case, your writing picks up a steady flow by page two and then by the time you've finished page three, you're rocking.

In other words, i think you need to look at your opening, to give us something to make us want to read on.

Dare I suggest a snapshot of the rape. In a mild form of course, just a glimmer of the pain and suffering she endured and maybe she could clock up some distinguishing features of the men whom her brother eventually goes after.

Just a thought, but in any event, I would recommend a change there.

Good luck with this, Jude. Keep giving me a nudge now and then as you move through so that i can come and have a little read.
Good job. .
Love Wendy xxxx