This comes straight from the heart and you express it so well.

I cannot thank all of you enough for the all of the support I have received in just a few short days. I am so pleased to be part of a community that shares my passion for writing.

....but I can also see your growth.
In a short span of time, I think you've given birth to 'yourself'. Forgive the rest of the world for their errors and sins, leave what hurts you behind, and realize that you have much to offer the world as your own person. Love is out there in abundance. It just changes forms.
Good job John. This gets a vote from me. I appreciate the effort you put into formatting also. I like the powerful cover, the 'Table of Contents', bordering around your pages and especially, your work.
Good job!

Your friend,
Robin

this book has a lot of feeling and for people out there it must really hurt this aurthor who is very close to me and my sisters and brother. we know the pain and we are here

Thank you to everyone who took the time to view my completed work. I am already in the process of starting my next book. Your support gives me the motivation to continue to work past my frustration.

Now that you have completed your first I would like to read something that is on a different subject. Now is the time to show your talent. you have done very well on this first book that I have voted for./joeparente

yes i see what you are talking about how he left and never came back but we dont need that cuz we have you even if your not here physically but in our hearts and we all mean it

hey its me christy i really do like it and im not just saying that cuz your my brother i love it. i just finished reading it. cant wait to read more

I used that one word...why...because to me, that one word seems the perfect title for your poem. Okay, let's get to work, please remember that everything I suggest is just that, suggestions; what they are meant to do is for you to go back inside your work and ask questions in your mind, try out changes, rearrange phrases, but at all times remember, these are suggestions from a viewpoint other than yours, and you have the final say-so. This poem is a prose poem rather than a rhyme poem, however, even in a prose poem you need structure; that being, neat lines in poem style, no running on like a paragraph, and the lines need a cadence, a rhythm that flows like a poem. You wrote a couple stylized correctly, but in others, you wrote like you had lost the boundaries in your thought chain. Poems touch in many ways, by the sing-song in the words, by the emotion strong in a few words, and by the picture imagery from the writer. When your words rush ahead without giving a breath to what's been written, the poem loses its flavor. For instance, the words, I am corrupted, are powerful, but they need a showcase all their own, and when you added it to the words before, you diminished its message.
This work speaks loudly of your hurt, and disappointment in the people you love; I hope that letting all this out will offer a healing for you. A great number of writers started careers with just such a need, and I hope you found a bit of solace. Wa do (Cherokee, thank you). Elizabeth

Try to keep the same short sentences as you started with. They seem to have a lot more power in what you are trying to portray./joeparente