In one poem you need punctation. That will make that piece more understandable. However the emotions that you are writing comes through.

The book is a combination of poetry/memoirs. My vision includes some darkness from my past, but also shows my struggle with recovery. I haven't completed it yet. I try to add a little more each day. The book might seemed scattered at the moment, but any feedback is useful.

I believe i can see much more 'form' in "Pop" (whether you wanted to do that or not) following advice given below.

It's hard for me to discern who you are directing your anger toward in the second poem. It could be the entire world, but most definitely your family members. Maybe one in particular.

I think it's good that you are putting these thoughts and feelings on paper (cyber-paper?)...you seem to need a good 'emotional cleansing'.

I want to pass a little something along though. Please make amends with family members at some point. My own parents were violent alcoholics and I felt much the same way you do here. I felt it absolutely destroyed me inside. I was very much a recluse and hated the world. BUT...once we discover who we are - our own potential outside of the immediate family unit - it helps to move on from that hate. Both my parents are dead now of their disease, and I carry around a sadness that I wasn't able to understand the complexities of their illness and pain...before they died.

I think it would be a great idea to keep this as a 'journal of growth', and add to it, how you have become larger than the pains inflicted on you by others.
Good luck my friend. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Robin

I have changed the font so that the book will be easier to read. Thank you for your feedback. I am still in the process of learning how to edit my work.

Your second poem is another heart outburst, but try to give it some poetic style, write shorter sentences, drop the personal pronouns, and give a rhyme to your verses, this will bring you more readers. But keep always your HEART as the source of inspiration, the most trustworthy and honest part in us, humans...gd luck.

You write with a tremendous amount of feeling. Keep them coming./joe

Thank you very much for your comment. The book is not all full of gloom. These poems are a sample from a chapter. The whole book explains how I fell into the darkness but found my way out.

Very strong, very powerful, very heavy, very personal. Throw a twist of happy history in it so you don't lose the reader. That was just a suggestion. Nice start to an intriguing story./joeparente

Thanks for the support. I am really happy I found this site. I hope to post more work soon. Keep the comments coming.

This is off to a good start and now just be patient when writing the rest that you want to say.