Powerful and moving. You captured the reality of that day. Thank you for sharing.

Again, this is amazing. The read was so smooth and gut retching that I didn't take my eyes away from the screen until it was finished. This piece is another display of your talent.

And though I was not yet able to comprehend what had happened on that fateful day(I was about five years old), I now have a better understanding of it. And even though the documentaries I've watched gave me a glimpse of the event, it never really showed me the beating heart of it all. But your story has. My eyes have been opened.

You are a natural story telling, a very talented one at that.

Bravo!

Outstanding job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

Yes, i was four when this happened--and i remember watching the news footage that night, watching the first tower fall. I also know many people who were affected by the tragedy--either having lost their fathers and mothers who worked in the towers, or had lost family that were the firefighters and police officers. I loved your word usage and the way your sentences flowed: they really did bring tears to my eyes. I watched many documentaries on September 11, and this added to the reality of it all. This was the one point of view i actually didn't think much about--how the schools were affected. While reading this, i felt as if i were you, sitting in the classroom, hearing the principal's announcement. Again, this added to the reality of the tragedy, and i thank you for writing it. Great job!
-Jenna Marie

What a powerful piece. Brought tears to my eyes!! What a tribute to 911!!

Thank you for sharing your rememberance of that tragic day!!

thank you for sharing your memory jesswygle, and i think this is a great tribute.

This was a really powerful memory that you have made into a poignant short story. I was a couple years older than you, but I still didn't realize just how important the towers were until that day. Later, I looked back at the photographs from my grade 11 trip to NYC and saw just how prominent the towers were in all of my photographs. It's really a strange feeling when I compare my photos of the NYC skyline in 1999 with those from my roadtrip in 2002 (we also visited Ground Zero on the second trip and there are no words to describe that experience).

As it was for you, one of the hardest moments was watching the tower fall and realizing just how many people were dying before your eyes. It's not usual to see that on the news today. We hear about the death, but we don't normally watch it happening. I had no idea how to feel when faced with such devastation.

A couple things to fix:
On Page 6, I think you need to add a comma between 'veins' and 'that'.
You need to add 'a' to "birth of a child".

On Page 7, it might help to change this sentence: "Murmurs of an explosion and whispers of death stung my ears, but I didn't pay much attention." At the very least, you need a comma before 'but'.
You also need commas around 'who sat in front of me'

On Page 8 you to add 'an' to "at the same target was an 'act of terrorism',"
You have a mistake: "I felt started to feel"
Also, you misspelled "gapping" (it's gaping)

On Page 9, I'm not sure, but I think we capitalize Ground Zero now.

On Page 10 you need a comma between 'turning point' and 'but what'
and between 'I wasn't alone' and 'yet felt'

On Page 13, you need to add 'that' right here: "Pearl Harbor was the day that will live in infamy."

I had a lot of trouble finding the mistakes because I was too worked up from the story, but I hope it helps.

Wow. I was a fourth grader during 9/11 and I saw the smoke from the fourth floor of the school since there's a good view of downtown Manhattan form upper Brooklyn. This was a very powerful piece to read.
I especially like how you began this, especially when you listed aspects of people's lives that will never be forgotten. The blurb was very interesting too. It's powerful enough so that it doesn't need much explanation to be connected to the story. Overall a great tribute.
-Angely