"Unconditional love surround the three of us like an early morning fog"
That line was beautiful. It really added to the fact that the protagonist was desperate to have a child.
Very beautifully written.
-Angely

I couldn't imagine a life without kids. They are the best!! This is a story that must be read. By ALL men!

I started off by explaining why I say that, and well . . . it got pretty long.

Let's just say that 'men' have it so much easier than women. I cannot believe all that you have to deal with physically and mentally!

And, all I can say is "That's why we love you!"

A very, very poignant story! Thank you!

You captured the fear of the unknown, and then climaxed with the real fear that followed of not being able to conceive.

Very well written.

Good luck on the contest.

First and foremost, I have to say you are a very talented writer.
Regarding the story, I don't agree with the idea that a women should feel incomplete if she is not a mother. I believe that humans' role, men and women alike,is to be happy and with their happiness decrease the unhappiness of others. This is just my point of view and it does not influence my review of the piece.

It is very clearly structured and beautifully written. Great job, sweetie

Yes, there were a few minor typos which can be fixed...but overall, this is a very moving and real story of fear...one that many women will relate to. You wrote it well and I congratulate you.

So many questions about what makes a woman a woman. It's scary to think that you can't be who you thought you were always meant to be.

Then there's illness, another monster just lurking about to strip people of their lives.

Your story is good, but the questions you pose are even better. There were a few mistakes, but another read over will probably clear those up.

Yet another entry to add to the, oh so wonderfully scary, pile that’s going to keep the judges quite busy in their decision-making.

A few minor things. Page 7 you said "brewing like a tropical" - I think you omitted "storm", or another word maybe. Not certain.
Also, on page . Page 8 "I can't tell me to stop thinking about it" I think you meant to say "I can't tell myself to stop thinking about it" or maybe "He can't tell me to stop thinking about it".

Like I said.. tiny changes, nothing major. Excellent work, Jess!

The worst thing for a woman that dreams of being a mommy is the possibility she may be unable to conceive. Add to that the fear associated with another health issue and you have a deep fear. You did a good job of relating her feelings and the uncertainty she faces.