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mrmarion

Quite a surprise ending, one I did not suspect was coming. The resolution of conflict was not in the normal expected vein but acceptable. I fpund the writing difficult to follow in some places but overall the story was three out of five stars. I am a stickler for well formed sentence structure, minimum adverbs and no passive sentences. Just me but my standards of critique.

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shellman

I didn't know I'd need a cigarette...nice writing

1 Kommentar
jamesonvenus

yeah I needed one after writing it... haha... thanks for reading...

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jamesonvenus

Was he dreaming??? well kind of in a way... it's really more of a fantasy that he has while on the train... So yeah... kind of a dream... a daydream if you will... The fantasies are actually a big part throughout the novel. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Hope the days are treating you well...

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jamesonvenus

I may at some point get the rest of the novel up on the site... I just got through my first edit on it... so still have some work to go... but I'm glad you liked it... I'm looking forwarding to checking out some of your work... I'm actually out of town right now and don't have a lot of time to check the internet... hope you are doing well...

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porter2

wish it had the whole book

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michaelastalnaker

so was he dreaming?

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