Very nicely written and with so much detail. The story, so far moved along at a fairly steady pace, but picked up well towards the end.
Your diction and vocabulary are excellent. I noticed a couple of errors, not that I was looking for then.
To tell the truth, I was so hoping for a complete short story, but only because, almost as soon as I stop reading I begin to forget what I've read. I suppose that it's a senior thing.
When you post any upcoming chapters, it will be like starting all over again.
All that being said...once your story is totally complete, and I'll have the pleasure of reading it from start to end without interruption of 'time'.
Again...well done.

Ok, so, the rewrite is going fine, the first 2 chapters in 3rd draft form are now up for your reading pleasure. More to follow soon

Very well written Duron Crejaro - I knew you could find a little inspiration in music.

Maybe the next time you're feeling in a mood for writing but can't pull out the words from your head you can find a piece of music that moves you.

It doesn't have to be classical - but with the lack of 'words' as a writer you have only the emotions the music evokes to work with.

Again, nicely done!

Well written....maybe this is a history of future events.

Ok, so I took down the prologue, and rewrote the blurb, ive decided while keeping with the idea of YA romance/and fantasy im taking the story a bit of a different and unique direction.

Good start to your book. Found a few punctuation and spelling errors, but not bad for a first draft!